AreYou Spinning Your Wheels?

By Holly Stokes, The Work Smart Wellness Coach

Do you feel like you are caught in the hamster wheel oflife? Spinning your wheels and seeming to get nowhere? Each January is amarker of a new year, and a wonderful time to take measure of our progress, andre-focus ourselves for the coming year. All too often, however, the goodintentions we made in January slowly fade and are gone by February. If when youhear "goal setting" you think of hard work, past failures, and think - whybother, you may have been caught on the hamster wheel before. This article isfor those who've ever been caught on that wheel, those who have fallen off thewheel, and those who want to make their forward motion really count!

The Wheel: Typically, our path to achievement is tothink of what we want, then set a goal, stick with it a couple of days, (maybeeven a week or two), make some forward motion, then lose focus and revert toour old ways. It's not over yet thought, because we then berate ourselves forfailing the goal, and wonder, why can't I just be more disciplined? Timepasses, we think about what we "should" be doing, and the vicious cyclerepeats. Or, we forget about trying again, but are left feeling guilty, "lazy"or "undisciplined." If you are focusing your efforts simply on setting andachieving goals, you may be missing most of the battle. If achieving your goalsfeels like struggle, you need to take a look at what is going on behind thescenes.

What is going on behind the scenes? Glad you asked.It is our thoughts and feelings that inspire action and inaction. Would youagree that our thoughts affect our actions? Do our feelings affect ourthoughts? Do our feelings affect our actions? As you can see, actions,thoughts, and feelings are inter-related. It works like a pyramid, with actionsat the top, and thoughts and feelings making up the base.  If we focus only on our outcomes, (actions)and don't take into account our thoughts and feelings, we may be losing thebattle and missing most of the action.

The problem with goal setting is in how we pick ourgoals in the first place. Many times we pick our goals to fill a lack, withouteven being aware of what that lack is. To begin identifying what's really going on, try this exercise. It's bestto do it now as it will only take a few minutes. Take out a clean sheet ofpaper and divide it into 3 columns. On the right column, list everything youwant. It can be anything, a new car, more money, friends, family, etc. Then inthe middle column, identify the benefit of what that goal will give you. In thethird column, identify the benefit of the benefit.

What's really going on? What do you want ' What itwill give you ' The Benefit of the Benefit. For example, if I say I want Xamount of dollars, I might identify that it will allow me to pay my billseasily, and the benefit of the benefit (paying bills easily) might give me asense of freedom. From this process, I can see that ultimately, what I reallywant is freedom. The benefit of the benefit is your Ultimate Why.

How to get off the hamster wheel: Identify yourUltimate Whys. Usually the Ultimate Whys are a sense of something, a feeling,or a way of being. The secret is, you don't have to wait until you've made Xamount of dollars, or filled some other goal in order to have that Ultimate Whynow in your life. You can have it now - and it's free!

Now, look back through your list of the Ultimate Whys, andlook for recurring themes. For instance, you might find stability comes up afew times, or freedom or adventure. Put a star next to the themes that arerecurring for you. Pick one that repeats in your list for the next exercise.For our example, we will use freedom.

Create what you really want now: On a separate sheetof paper, brainstorm all the ways you can connect with that freedom now. Findways that are easy and within reach, something you can do daily, or weekly.Freedom might be taking a walk at noonor perhaps taking time on Saturday to visit a local tourist spot that you havebeen meaning to see for awhile. Come up with several ways to create it now inyour life. Then make it happen, set aside time to let yourself connect withyour Ultimate Why. Make this your first goal, but since words carry weight, andgoals depict pass/fail and past struggle, let's call it a plan instead. Makeplans, not goals.

Re-evaluate your wants: In light of this exercise,and being aware of what you really want, re-evaluate your wants list.Identify which wants are still worthwhile and important to you. Prioritize themand then turn them into plans.

Stop the cycle of struggle: Many times, if we areunaware of what the goal will bring us, we may be sabotaging our efforts. Forexample, if my want is to earn X amount of dollars, and as I begin to make moremoney, I take part of the new cash flow and buy a new car (create a new bill),it may not be adding to my freedom or peace of mind, but will be taking awayfrom it. In this mode of focusing only on goals, we are running on that hamsterwheel, spinning the wheel, but feeling like we are not making progress, becausewe are not getting what we really want. When people are caught on thehamster wheel, they move from one goal to the next, "If only I could make moremoney, then I will have peace of mind, then I will be happy."  The secret is, you can have what youreally want right now. And by taking care of what you really want, youmultiply your forward motion, and enjoy the entire journey.

When you begin making your plans from a place ofsatisfaction and happiness, life becomes an expression of who you are, what youlove, and the possibilities continue to expand. Your business becomes a vehiclefor filling your life's mission and purpose, and adding to the lives of thosearound you.

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