Hello Elaine,
I divorced my husband about a year and a half ago (it was not a good break-up). We are good friends now and sometimes go to the same social events. The woman he cheated on me with is also sometimes at these same events. I am not a "catty" person and I do not blame her anymore than I did my ex, so I always offer a friendly smile and hello, but I do not wish to engage in a conversation with her or hang around her at these events either. What is the proper etiquette for letting a person know that you don't want to be more than courteous to them without being mean? Thank you and I really enjoy your work!

Connie M.


Hello Connie,
Thanks for your question! And I'm so pleased you are enjoying my work!

One important thing you should think about: You cannot continue being "good friends with your ex-husband and shun his new girlfriend. You are saying HE cheated yet somehow you've found it in your heart to forgive him and become good friends. So why haven't you forgiven her yet? Isn't he just as responsible for the offense? What if he marries her? Are you going to only speak to the husband and not the wife? First and foremost you have to determine how you want to deal with them EQUALLY. There's no middle-of-the-road stuff here. Now I'm not saying you have to be HER best buddy but you just can't be "good friends" with him and "cool" towards her. Treat them EQUALLY.

So you have to first decide if you're going to cut them off completely or just be polite. If you do choose to remain cordial the only way to be straight up and let them BOTH know that you don't want to be more than courteous is to do just that... let them know!

What I mean is you should have brief chat with them (together at the same time) and tell them "I don't hate you guys and I'm not angry with you all but I would much rather prefer to just be cordial and polite by keeping our conversations limited to a simple hello". Now if you do this you have to modify your relationship with your ex as well.

Keep it short and simple; try to speak with an even pleasant tone so it doesn't become an argument. Be sincere and take a (non-messy) friend along to be a witness to the conversation. Then just move on with your live and continue being polite.

Hope this helps, please keep me informed.



Dear Elaine,
When a woman gets a divorce does she still keep the title of Mrs. or can she be called a Miss again?

Katy. C


Hello Katy,


When a woman gets a divorce it is perfectly fine for her to begin being addressed as Ms. again. Here are the meanings for the following titles:

Mrs. = a married woman
Ms. = a single woman
Miss. = a young girl or young lady under the age of 18.

Yes it's true we only get to enjoy the Miss title once in our lives! But hey the rest of the journey is quite a ride so grab on and enjoy this next phase of your life.

Be Well,
Elaine