Copyright © 2006 Ed Bagley

Here are five more movies you think would be really better than they are, unfortunately for the films, the scripts, the direction, and the actors, they are not.

Imagine Me & You - 1 Star (Terrible) Imagine a bride walking down the aisle on her wedding day, getting ready to marry the man she has had an intimate relationship with for years, looking at another woman at the ceremony, and starting an awakening that would lead her to question her own feelings, eventually falling in love with the other woman, ultimately destroying her marriage, but living happily ever after with her new lesbian partner.

Now, maybe, you begin to understand why this premise does not work. It is sold in the film as perfectly natural and normal, with everyone making out fine in the end (no pun intended).

This film does not work because it is not psychologically sound. The offering is British made, of course, which accounts for the poor sound effects of the movie, and the annoying lack of proper diction and enunciation by the actors involved.

It would be hard for me to believe that Imagine Me & You advances the cause and understanding of lesbian issues.

Down With Love - 1 Star (Terrible)

This movie stars Renee Zellweger in a very light, fun romantic comedy placed in 1962. A fashion show for clothing styles of the 1960s. Excellent movie for clothes conscious women to watch (are there any women who are not clothes hounds?).

In Good Company - 1 Star (Terrible)

An ad salesman gets demoted after a corporate buyout, and his new boss, young enough to be his son, falls for his daughter on the rebound from his divorce. You want to like this movie, but the scriptwriter and director will not let you; this movie ends without an ending, and becomes worthless in the process. In Good Company is beyond disappointing, it is a pathetic waste of time.

It Runs in the Family - 1 Star (Terrible)

A Michael Douglas produced movie with Kirk Douglas, his dad, and Cameron Douglas, his son. If the title of this film is the key to its presentation, then what runs in this family is a lot of incredibly dysfunctional people who are led virtually nowhere.

There are not enough adjectives to describe how poor this presentation is so I am not even going to try. Sum it up in two thoughts:

1) Am I a better person for having seen this film? No. Absolutely not, and I felt like I should have been. It was not even entertaining as a supposed "comedy." This was so far from comedy it was very bad drama.

2) Michael Douglas had an opportunity to make a substantial film with meaning about what counts in life, and he failed miserably. When one examines the body of Michael Douglas' work as an actor, I am hard put to find a film of substance; usually the theme is sex, warped values and bordering on revulsion. What should I have expected?

Laws of Attraction - 1 Star (Terrible)

Light-hearted, fun romantic comedy about two divorce attorneys who fight in court over cases and then end up together in marriage. Both Pierce Brosnan and Julianne Moore make this an easy film to watch, despite its lack of substance. No depth here, but it is an easy film to watch as there is no nudity, no filthy language, no violence and no sex scenes (in other words, almost a miracle of moviemaking given it is not a Disney production).

I only bring these terrible movies to your attention so you do not get blindsided once you sit down to enjoy your movie rental of choice. My forewarning is useless, of course, should you invest in any of these films.