Are You Going My Way?


by Yinka Dixon - Date: 2007-03-07 - Word Count: 1083 Share This!


Two cannot walk together (heading in the same direction, possibly with the same intent and purpose, perhaps also aiming to achieve the same result) except they are agreed, even if they have agreed to disagree. As someone who has had the opportunity to be hurt several times, by "friend" after "best" friend, going from one problem base to another, I have almost become an authority on major human set-backs, and failing friends. Every set-back brings with it, the opportunity for disaster, failure and fall, and a choice to sink or to swim. I say - "choose life"!!!

Disaster is described by Dictionary.com (amongst other things) as "a calamitous event, especially one occurring suddenly and causing great loss of life, damage, or hardship, (like a flood, airplane crash, or business failure)." It is stated as "mischance, misfortune, misadventure, mishap, accident, blow, reverse, adversity, and affliction". Disaster is a "calamity, catastrophe, or cataclysm", and "refers to adverse happenings often occurring suddenly and unexpectedly". A disaster may be caused by carelessness, negligence, bad judgment, or the like, or by natural forces. Calamity suggests great affliction, either personal or general; the emphasis is on the grief or sorrow caused (like "the calamity of losing a child"). Catastrophe refers especially to the tragic outcome of a personal or public situation; the emphasis is on the destruction or irreplaceable loss. Cataclysm is "physically, an earth-shaking change" and "refers to a personal or public upheaval of unparalleled violence" and may turn a person's "life in a new direction". A disaster is a state of extreme (usually irremediable) ruin and misfortune. However, we are told that all these are "such as is common to man"…..

Failure (according to Dictionary.com and the American Heritage Dictionary) is an act or instance, condition or fact of failing or proving unsuccessful, not achieving the desired end or ends; lack of success; nonperformance of something due, requested, required, or expected; being insufficient or falling short; an omission; subnormal quantity or quality; an insufficiency; deterioration or decay, a decline in vigour, strength or effectiveness; A cessation of proper functioning or performance (like a "power failure"); The act or fact of failing to pass a course, test, or assignment, or of becoming bankrupt or insolvent; A person that fails is also described as a failure…..

There were more than 52 references to "fall" in Dictionary.com which conjures the impression that the very act of falling is a natural one, common to man, and experienced by many. It means, amongst other things, "to come down or drop down suddenly to a lower position, especially to leave a standing or erect position suddenly, whether voluntarily or not; to become less or lower; become of a lower level, degree, amount, quality, value, or number"… Someone once said "he that is down need fear no fall" After your lowest ebb, decline or diminution, the only way is "up"!!!

Every person has a right to a fair share of disaster, failure and fall. Certainly, people who don't know your story, want to tell it with conviction; some, who don't know your past, want to colour your future; others who don't know where you're coming from, make themselves the authority and resounding voices in your life and matters when your fate is being decided; those who don't know where you're heading, want to get there before you; others who don't know how you've so struggled to get up, make plans to pull you back down. Whatever their reasons (mostly selfishness, insecurity and arrogance), do you deserve to be on your feet? I say the answer is YES & so would other well meaning people around you. It is not how many times you fail or fall, or encounter disaster (by commission or omission), that counts. It is what you do after the experience that will make or mar you. You owe it to yourself to be on your feet. People who are standing operate from a position of strength. Whatsoever you must do to stand, stand!!! In life, you will have problems and encounter challenges with situations, and with family, friend or foe. Are you staying down to wallow in self-pity at defeat? Not I… Make the best of the fall. Learn from your mistakes, and jump back in the ring. The battle is not for the swift, so use your head. Mr Henry Ford said "failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently". Set your face as a flint and move forward. You haven't failed till you stop trying to succeed.

According to John Maxwell, your attitude determines your approach to life, to your relationships with people, and is often the difference between success and failure. Your attitude can turn problems into blessings, and has nothing to do with your spiritual "fruit" or inclination. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. Create an intentional success purpose, and determine to stay the course. Willis Whitney said "some people have thousands of reasons why they can't do what they ought to do, when all they need is one reason why they can…" Know your strengths and your weaknesses. Playing on your strength rekindles your passion and energy. Prioritise your responsibilities. Once you know your "Why", it's easier to figure out the "what" and the "when". Create a focus and learn to say "NO". Don't agree to do everything, regardless of who feels bad. You can't satisfy everybody. Most victories in life are achieved by small incremental gains over a period of time, so commit yourself to long-term achievements. Don't be afraid to surrender your former ambitions, and to understand the timing of the seasons in your life.

That "all fingers are not equal" does not mean "roll over and play dead"! Personally, I'd rather die, trying my very best. If you have to change your friends to achieve your goal, do so without apologies, and don't look back. This is your life, and you are the key player in this movie. Everyone else is a sub-actor. You determine who stays and who goes. You have the power. Use it to your advantage. Actively seek out people who can make a difference to your life at every stage. People you have never heard of, will stop to listen when you have a voice, those who never knew you existed will reckon with you once you have succeeded. It's worth the effort. Tell yourself, and believe it. I owe it to myself to stay alive, and to succeed. Are you going my way?


Related Tags: disaster, child, pain, life, hurt, friend, story, succeed, fail, judgement, conviction, setback, mishap, calamity

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