Are You Ready For A Relationship?

by Syed Quadri - Date: 2006-12-20 - Word Count: 698 Share This!

Most of us have been through at least one bad relationship. A love story gone sour. Nevertheless, how many of us are willing to move on and actively seek a partner? We pretend to enjoy our single status, because we fear getting hurt again? It's a well-known fact that we do not enjoy loneliness, yet we justifying our being single with the lame excuse of not being ready for a relationship, yet.

Let me ask you, when will you be ready for a love relationship?

Whenever we say that we are not ready for a relationship, what we mean is that we are not inclined to go through the trauma or the heartache of our past relationships. It's also true that many of us don't realize that we mean this. Our decisions are often a product of our past experiences. Moreover, we subconsciously reject all prospective relationships which may spell 'Danger' to us. Who would intentionally want to invite heartburn and drama, which usually accompanies over 50% relationships? Can we be ever ready for pain? No, never!

The above scenario may seem bleak. Yet, it's vital for our overall well being to love someone and work towards making the relationship with that person, work. Being single for sometime, you may have led yourself to believe that you are not ready for a relationship. However remind yourself that without the right measures and the right perspective and a strong intent, you may never be ready.

This brings me to the question, how will you know if you are ready? More importantly, is there a personality type that you need to have or acquire in order to be ready to face true love with complete confidence? Well, after much deliberation, I have complied four very important areas which you need assess in order to be more accepting of a love relationship.

1. Sitting down and working at identifying your relationship patterns and figuring out the real reasons for collapse.

If you think that you could have handled some things better, then you should make sure that you work on those areas. If you are confused, then they are in urgent need of your serious attention. Some of such issues could be emotional, sexual abuse or loss of a parent or perhaps a dysfunctional love relationship.

2. Assessing your self-esteem and self-awareness. Introspect to understand your level of self-confidence.

Ask yourself these questions - Are I an optimistic person? Do I have the essential qualities to resolve the toughest of problems? Do I know my weaknesses and strengths? What are the values I need in my partner and my relationship? If the answers for these questions are negative, then you may have a problem accepting yourself the way you are. Therefore you shall need to work on these areas. Remember, being able to love yourself is the first and most important step towards loving others.

3. Learning to find out if you are really past all your previous relationships and your past is your past.

We all need to get complete closure on all our painful and traumatic experiences/relationships. It's paramount to our well-being. Without closure we are always susceptible to being biased about all our present and future relationships. We'll give up easily, and without much of effort.

4. Knowing what you want from your relationship and your partner. Knowing the right reasons and having the right expectations for a long-lasting relationship.

We all participate in relationships with different expectations and for many different reasons. Find out what you expect from your partner and the relationship. This shall guide you to being happy in a love relationship.

Carefully examine all your feelings and wants for a future partner and a future relationship.

Just before you move from being single to being a couple, remember these four important areas and in doing so help to ensure that your new love relationship will be a 'forever' affair! Online dating websites can also help improve your social and love life. Tom Chapman, CEO of the single website, suggests that online dating is a great way to find your life partner, once you have made the decision to actively seek a love relationship!

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