Adult Evolution - Staging Post 6 - Stocktaking and Closure (66 Years Old and Beyond)


by Elaine Sihera - Date: 2007-04-29 - Word Count: 414 Share This!

Finally, in the cycle of our emotional evolution, this is a period of stocktaking and resignation. Marked by declining physical powers and health, and loss of loved ones, for many this can be a lonely time of simply waiting for death as they become invisible to the rest of society. However, many people are very active, especially up to 80 years, and make significant contributions to society. One only has to read Tolstoy's Bicycle to see the tremendous creativity and impact of this age in people's lives.

On the whole, this is the stage of tying things up, for making peace with our individual God and our world; of finalising our growth and fine-tuning the persons we have made of ourselves. It normally proves a time for accepting others and helping them to recognise that life is only part of a larger, more enduring spiritual community. This staging post is marked by being steadfast in beliefs and principles while being at peace with the world, and it can go on for many years. It can be hopeful or cynical, depending on how effectively we have resolved (or are finally resolving) the personal issues faced in earlier stages.

We may move into this stage sooner or later, depending on how rapidly we have developed in the earlier ones. But if Staging Post 1 is about parading ourselves like peacocks and seeking approval, this last stage is about seeking our own approval and pleasing ourselves. Virtually free of social sanctions, though responsible and law-abiding, it is the stage of greater confidence and doing what we like without really caring for the opinion of others. Without any further need to impress, and being largely left to our own devices, there is now real freedom in every sense.

Unfortunately, this is where we come to grips with the ultimate limitations of life and mortality - death. But we ignore the possibility as much as we can by trying to pass on whatever wisdom we have gained to others, seeing them as mirror images of ourselves and part of humankind's diversity. Hence the often misguided action of imposing our wishes and desires, values and expectations on our children. This is the stage when we are most likely to lose our spouses, which reinforces our own mortality and isolation. However, it is also a time when the bonds with our partners are stronger than ever and more appreciated. That is why one partner often loses the will to live when a long-term spouse dies.


Related Tags: fear, relationship, loss, reflection, forgiveness, adult, confidence, evolution, resignation, stocktaking

ELAINE SIHERA (Ms Cyprah -http://www.ecademy.com/user/elainesihera and http://www.myspace.com/elaineone) is an expert author, public speaker, media contributor and lifestyle columnist. The first Black graduate of the OU and a post-graduate of Cambridge University. Elaine is a CONFIDENCE guru and a Personal Empowerment, Relationships and Diversity Consultant. Author of: 10 Easy Steps to Growing Older Disgracefully; 10 Easy Steps to Finding Your Ideal Soulmate!; Money, Sex & Compromise and Managing the Diversity Maze, among others (available on http://www.amazon.co.uk as well as her personal website). Also the founder of the British Diversity Awards and the Windrush Men and Women of the Year Achievement Awards. She describes herself as, "Fit, Fabulous, Over-fifty and Ready to Fly!"

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