Stroller Etiquette
Here's a message for all new parents out there… That stroller is TOO - DURNED - BIG.
I have long thought that there should be a stroller etiquette class offered to new mothers immediately after their Lamaze training is over. Classes would cover the important art of getting around with a new or young child in a stroller without creating feelings in others akin to road rage.
You know the ones I mean. The huge suburban sedans that house one child, sometimes two, in luxury that we oldsters never experienced or expected while young. They recline at their leisure; they have little toys and gadgets hanging from every crooked beam; they are born about on SUV-sized tires and quality shock absorbers; parents have their coffee and water bottles close by in cup holders (these are for some reason installed immediately over the child's head); the width of the stroller rivals many motorized vehicles and parking is harder to find; due to this last item, it is natural and common for the parent to stop immediately and abruptly in whatever thoroughfare they find them themselves (usually a narrow shopping aisle or hallway), to chat with owner of the identically-sized stroller next to them or search for some imagined, much-needed article below, which resides in one of about thirteen pockets and which Mom will then find in her purse instead. Of course, traffic must find a way to weave around these persons who, for some reason, don't seem to mind the fact that they have blocked the one thoroughfare available to many heading in the same, or opposite, direction.
So a class? Absolutely! Maybe the parenting magazines would oblige us by classifying this tutorial as a "must" for the new parents. We'd have lines out the door, as long as we could convince parents that responsible stroller-driving by the parent while the child is young is surely related to good SAT test scores.
Classes would include sessions of theory, training, and practical application. Topics would be easily defined by those coming into motherhood who had heretofore complained about this phenomenon but were destined to become offenders. The goal of each lesson would be to master the basics of stroller etiquette:
The Right Stuff: Buying a stroller that fits your needs, preferably of a size suitable for a small child, collapsible for easy storage, and narrow enough that the flow of traffic isn't stopped entirely when you have need to read the ingredients on the back of the child's favorite snack.
Packing Light: It's a trip to the mall, not a cross country bike ride. You don't need about a third of what you have there. Got the diaper bag and a baggie of Cheerios? You're good!
Around Town: Grocery store and department store aisles are a serious source of frustration for us civilians. The class would intensify here, granting a large portion of time to the practical applications of driving on the right, pulling over to allow others through, and parking on the ends of aisles instead of the middle to avoid traffic jams.
You Can Do It: The final phase of this class would be aimed towards future years, when children are grown to ages seven and above and probably no longer need to ride in carts and strollers. Why do I see nine-year old kids riding in the buckets of grocery store carts? This mystifies me. But there, maybe there's something I don't know, having missed that phenomenon by a number of years with my kids.
Personnel: Sorry, dads, but fathers are required to attend.
While we all understand that our children are important and the need to transport them safely and without causing too much of a ruckus, I would plead with parents to consider the ways in which they accomplish this. My concern being, what will my kid want when she is twelve…a car??
Related Tags: baby, etiquette, stroller
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