Guide to Trauma Free Relationships (418 words)
Written by Norbert Henke (Counselor/Psychotherapist)
Singles have to protect and rely on themselves for happiness, decision-making and particularly, when it comes to sex. However, for many singles, sex (or intercourse) becomes a barometer of their self-worth and the amount of love they give to themselves. This can make, in particular, a good hearted, trusting and/or insecure single very emotionally/ physically vulnerable and thus, an easy target for the partner from Hell. Therefore, knowledge and awareness become very crucial and important methods to protect and avoid disaster, a broken heart and other catastrophes. This article is designed to promote awareness as it's topic is part of the psychological foundation of a happy, confident individual.

Lack of self-disesteem can be overcome. The person with a low self-esteem holds an image of inadequacy about themselves filled with self doubt and with a low opinion of self-worth. As a consequence it can give rise to undesirable feelings of holding certain amounts of hostility towards other people who appear happy and successful. In severe cases, people can snap into anger, resulting in attacks, violence, murder or even suicide. If you feel sad and miserable, discard the mental picture of yourself as a worthless person, while also disengaging in your frequent mental dialog of the " should and should not's" that are provoked by other people's opinions of you.
Moreover, increase your self-awareness by having a closer look at your beliefs, which probably might give you an inferior complex. Many people use negative and irrational beliefs against themselves.
These feelings of inferiority originate from the belief pattern that we have to live by and learned when we were children. We orientated ourselves, our individuality, and our present situation to the norm of other individual's opinions without questioning. Most likely, everything we heard, observed, experienced and felt as young children went straight into our brain, unmonitored and unscrutinised, where it stayed bottled up, like a message in a bottle. As adults we have to pop open these "bottles" and replace irrational beliefs of the ‘should and should not's'. Moreover it becomes our task through life to establish the reality of our interaction with the outside world. For instance, when we believe that it is necessary for our psychological well-being to "keep up with the Jones's", in order to relieve our inferiority complex with the illusion of short term superiority. This strive for superiority can also have some nasty and undesired consequences, which can cause trouble and frustration and can even give rise to neuroses.
As a demonstration, an athlete runs faster then the local mechanic, but then the local mechanic can repair a car better then the athlete can. Therefore, we all have certain attributes in which we are superior and inferior to others.
In order to retard the effect of inferiority we can take deliberate actions:
Accept the truth.
You are simply you.
You are neither inferior nor superior.

Remember that you have a choice. You do not have to be in competition with yourself, with any of your fellow citizens nor anything to be loved and accepted. Just as every face is different, you are also different.
You are unique, and thus, you are an individual.

Norbert wants other people to avoid the partner from Hell through using a Smart Sex-Drive. He was borne in Germany and moved to Australia in 1982. Based on his own painful experiences, he wrote the psychology self-help eBook (5o.ooo words)Frohmood's Smart Sex Drive for Singles, which can be found under http://www.smartsexdriveforsingles.com