Finding Your Ideal Mate(7) - Myths About Internet Dating


by Elaine Sihera - Date: 2007-03-30 - Word Count: 547 Share This!

There is a myth that Internet dating is primarily for weirdos, losers or frustrated housewives. But the Internet is likely to be the the ultimate dating vehicle of the future. Currently, it merely reflects the diversity of life in sharper relief. You will find the losers and sexists, the shy ones and the brash ones, mingling easily with the high flyers, hedonists and the social butterflies. The trick is to spot your required type as early as possible. Lots of successful people who don't have time for trusting to 'luck' use Internet services (8 million in the UK, and counting, with Direct Dating leading the pack and Match.com for the international market). It is immediate, personal, intimate, and can be used in the privacy of one's home without even moving an inch or anyone knowing at all what you are doing.

When I first registered five years ago, I was able to speak to some great professionals like me who shared my aim. I found nothing sinister or strange about it. It was rather odd, at first, telling friends that my first lover and I met through an Internet dating site, but I reminded myself that the site is like any other dating agency. You pay your money, advertise what you seek, and wait for the hoped-for results which might take a long while to bear fruit. As a woman said, she thought that with the thousands of people to choose from on the Internet, she would have her kind of man 'in no time'. Months later, she was still bemoaning the fact that he had not yet materialised. So, as anywhere else, contact really depends on the quality, not the quantity, of the potential suitors available.

Trust Your Common Sense
The Internet is proving to be one of the safest places for adults to meet because so much time is spent on the introductions, it is not too difficult to spot someone who is telling porkies! The fact that people have to give their credit card and address details to Internet Service Providers also means that most people can be traced in case of any misdemeanour. As long as you are careful and trust your common sense about meeting any stranger, it should be fine. Always email or text first, asking as many questions as you can to gauge history, experience and aspirations, then speak on the phone before agreeing to meet, taking their number first, if you have any apprehension. Seeing a photo first is also a must, but do remember that it is one-dimensional and depends on one's mood when it's taken!

If you are not sure about a meeting, just say you'd like to think about it a bit longer and leave it at that. If the person seems too needy or they pressure you to meet against your instincts, then don't. You have to want to meet that person too for it to work. The great thing about Internet dating is that, by the time you meet, all the preliminaries will have been put in place leaving only the physical side to match, which gives a distinct edge over meeting someone in person from scratch. Additionally, if you are not too impressed at the outset, they can be dismissed at the touch of a button!


Related Tags: internet, meeting, dating, honesty, choices, expectations, partner, soulmate, privacy, loser, suitor

ELAINE SIHERA (Ms Cyprah - http://www.myspace.com/elaineone and http://www.elainesihera.co.uk) is an expert author, public speaker, media contributor and columnist. The first Black graduate of the OU and a post-graduate of Cambridge University. Elaine is a CONFIDENCE guru and a consultant for Diversity Management, Personal Empowerment and Relationships. Author of: 10 Easy Steps to Growing Older Disgracefully; 10 Easy Steps to Finding Your Ideal Soulmate!; Money, Sex & Compromise and Managing the Diversity Maze, among others (available on http://www.amazon.co.uk as well as her personal website). Also the founder of the British Diversity Awards and the Windrush Men and Women of the Year Achievement Awards. She describes herself as, "Fit, Fabulous, Over-fifty and Ready to Fly!"

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