You know...there's something about you I like. I can't put my finger on it...but there's something about you that makes you attractive.

You've got charisma!

How do I know? I know you've got charisma because you're open to the world around you and ready to learn new things that the universe has to offer. And if there's one characteristic you always find in charismatic people, it's openness.

So, I think I've got your pegged right when I say you've got charisma. Even if you don't know it yet.

Charisma is easy to spot. You could probably name a dozen "charismatic" people you know in politics, the entertainment industry, or your personal life. But even though it's easy to spot, charisma isn't so easy to break down into its key components.

The "It" Factor
It's not so easy to identify exactly what it is about a person that makes him or her charismatic. You know that someone's got "it;" you just can't quite define what "it" is.

Charisma is an attractiveness that goes beyond good looks...an appeal that can't be labelled...a captivating quality that isn't the result of simple intellectual brilliance or a terrific sense of humor.

Most people see charisma as something elusive and unachievable-a kind of magical, mysterious magnetism that you're either born with or not. And the fact is that nothing could be further from the truth!

Charisma isn't a function of DNA. It can be developed...

and it can be developed by YOU.

Charisma is defined as "a certain presence." When charismatic people enter a room, their mere presence draws attention and their energy may radiate to enliven the entire gathering. At the core of this charisma, says Friedman, is "a basic self-confidence" and the ability to project this to others.

Your charisma can be improved and increase...and that takes work, but don't worry, the work is actually fun to do.

1. You'll get far more respect than the average person!
2. People will be drawn to you without any effort on your part!
3. You'll exude self-confidence!
4. You'll seem powerful without being intimidating.
5. You'll put people at ease and make them feel understood!
6. And you'll be able to easily get what you want, because people will instinctively want to help you!

In your personal relationships, the quality of charisma can make your life fuller and more joyful. Members of your family and your friends will be far happier in your company, and you will have a greater influence on them, causing them to feel better about themselves and to do better at the important things in their lives.

Face it. Your charisma makes you irresistible.

In trying to explain charisma, some people speak of an "aura" that radiates out from a person and affects the people around him/her in a positive or negative way.

You Are What You Speak - Charismatic Words
We tend to equate charisma with a type of sex appeal or charm, but you can find charismatic leaders who were pretty darn unattractive. Look at British Prime Minister Winston Churchill, unarguably tremendously charismatic, but not attractive physically.

So an important part of charisma is the ability to elicit images in the mind of a follower. A message that is easy to "see" is easier to understand, and that works well for the message and the messenger.

Let Your Voice Come From Deep Within You
It's more likely than not that you don't involve your body in your speaking very much. You probably take shallow breaths, and when you speak, the resonance of your voice probably comes mainly out of your throat, neck and head, rather than out of your chest or deeper in your body.

Not good.

You must practice breathing more deeply, and practice letting sound come out of that deeper place within you. The following exercise is perfect for you:

Exercise: Open Up and Say Ahhhhh
Try breathing deeply and saying "ahhhh, ahhhh, ahhhh" with each breath, letting the sound come out of a lower place in your body. Then try speaking. You'll find that your voice is more resonant and easier to listen to. If you do this every day, after a while your habit of breathing will change, and your vocal tone will change along with it.

You can practice this exercise wherever it's convenient: in the car on the way to work, in the shower in the morning, or whenever you happen to be alone.

Speak with Excitement
Many people who have been told that they lack charisma have usually gotten into the habit of never showing any real excitement about anything.

Charismatic, attractive people, on the other hand, are good at conveying their enthusiasm about things in their lives by the way that they speak. You can learn to do this by practicing speaking excitedly about things.

You do this by practice. Choose a topic, and spend one speaking about that topic with enthusiasm. Really let yourself go, and get excited about it! It doesn't matter if you're talking about baseball, a recipe for brownies, your spouse, your business, or world politics. The subject doesn't matter nearly as much as your ability to convey your excitement about it.

As you practice speaking excitedly, you'll find you are more animated and exciting in all your conversations. And this will make you much more charismatic.

Don't Be Wishy Washy
Many people who come across as boring and un-focused were not rewarded during their formative years for speaking with certainly or decisiveness. As a result, they've come to believe that the best way to get along in life was to stay "under the radar," and to never appear too committed to anything

That's a good way to get along, okay, if you don't mind being completely devoid of charisma...and all the benefits that charisma brings.

If you'd rather do more than just get along, if you'd like to really be charismatic in your personal and business life, it's time to start experimenting with speaking with certainty.

Exercise - Remove and Replace
Sounding wishy-washy is very much a function of the language you use when you express yourself. The easiest way to stop appearing to be drifting without a rudder is to remove the words "I guess" from your vocabulary.

When it comes to radiating charisma, you should remove all words of doubt and replace them with words of certainty.

* Instead of saying, "I guess so," try saying, "Yes!
* Instead of saying "I guess that'd be okay," try saying, "That's what I want."
* Instead of saying, "I guess we could sit over there," try saying, "Let's sit over there."

Some people have natural charisma in their speaking. The rest of us just have practice.

Maureen is the author of the book how to win the dating game, "Do you know how to get lucky online?" She does. She didn't always know. It took her several years of watching how other people got lucky and now you can learn it for yourself.
You can also vist also her blog Feeling Flirty?Get a Date!, autumnal confessions and Sexy Advice by Maureen. You can also visit the site http://www.howtowinthedatinggame.com for her book. And http://www.feelingflirty.com for her blog