A Cheeky Look at "Setting up Business" by the Stars
Aries
This is your office? Papers strewn everywhere, a collection of interesting moulds (some of which have developed personalities), growing in an assortment of chipped cups -- you do like to throw things; probably explains the dent in the wall! What is it with you? Always in such a hurry! We would expect some impressive results from all this hyper-activity, but you are the master of unfinished business. Why are you so impatient? Oh well, we will leave you alone and perhaps you might finish all those half-completed tasks... except, oh dear... something new has come along and you're eager to make a start on that.
Marketing advice: Stop scaring your clients and they just might return one day.
Taurus
Is this an office or a take-away shop? Must you eat in here? I'm sorry, but I can't find a PC in this joint. Where's your computer? Oh, I see... No, there's nothing wrong, but you might want to consider updating. Typewriters are so... yesterday. And you might feel more enterprising if you brightened up the office... pardon? No, there is nothing wrong with beige walls, but they can be a little mind-numbing, don't you think? I'm only suggesting a little external stimulation might help. No, no, of course, you aren't a dullard! However, modern technology can work wonders for your business, and it's such a shame to use those unopened packets of software as bickie platters!
Marketing advice: Sitting in front of your old Remington with your cheese sandwich might not be enough. May we suggest networking?
Gemini
Oh, my! Not sure what this one is doing - travelling faster than the speed of sound, papers in one hand, address book in the other, one foot working the keyboard (needs the other to balance while figuring out how to levitate, because then she could do FOUR things at once), and a mobile wedged permanently beneath the left ear like some new-fangled ear-ring. This one tries to do everything at once, and she has more irons in the fire than a blacksmith on a horse ranch. If you could stop yakking for a minute you might get some work done, but you do like a good gossip, and you're more restless than a can of worms!
Marketing advice: Can you sit still long enough to do one thing at a time? (She's not even listening!)
Cancer
Come on out from under the desk... I haven't started yet! Such a sensitive soul, but very eager to please. This one would rather go to the bathroom in public than cold sell! Networking in person is not your forte, is it? Never mind, thank goodness for the internet. As for the office, well, it is supposed to be an office - this looks like a rumpus room. All little Johnny's crayon drawings will have to go! You need to learn to say no - or get a lock on the office door to keep out the family who, apparently, can't manage without you.
Marketing advice: Don't be shy. I know you can do it, you know you can do it... but do they know you can do it!?
Leo
Well, this is one glam office! (Vogue's been here!) You do get the work done, and very efficiently, but it does interfere so with your preening. Is it really a necessity for you to keep grooming aids on your desk? You're not really a snob, just selective about choosing assignments. One requires a task suitable to one's standing. And it's just as well you work alone - you're so bossy.
Marketing advice: Lose the mirrors! Nobody can see what you look like over the internet and visiting clients might get the wrong idea - especially when they spot the nude statue in the corner by the bar!
Virgo
I must say, I've never seen a tidier office... but do you really need all those cleaning products on the bookshelf, all neatly lined up in alphabetical order? Virgos don't take coffee breaks; they take dusting breaks - and you are concerned because there are specks on the window, hidden by curtains, but you know they are there and it upsets you. How can you work when there are specks on the window! How, indeed! And is this an office, or a chemist? There are more vitamins and tablets cramming your shelves than a health shop. On the plus side, such thoroughness extends to your work practices. You never lose anything!
Marketing advice: Don't be so finicky... or maybe you should go into the cleaning business?
Libra
You have charmed your way into the good books of every contact you've made. The work offers are there, but which assignment should you choose first? You don't want to offend anyone by placing their work second, and you do so want everyone to like you! Oh, why can't just one nice person (who likes you very much), offer one job one day, and then another nice person (who likes you very much), offer their job on the second day? Sadly, even if you could decide between jobs, there's this other problem of deciding between which software to use, and which browser... Of course, you've studied them all, but you don't like to take sides!
Marketing advice: Forget it... your Client has already found somebody else!
Scorpio
From one extreme to the other... This one is working determinedly, with a definite no-nonsense glint in the eye. Intensity personified! Nothing really out of the ordinary in this office. It is designed strictly for business. The only other place you'll find this much stainless steel is in a gourmet kitchen! These people mean business, and that is what they're doing, and you'd better not get in their way - or else! Scorpio gives new meaning to the word ambition. (This one doesn't need contacts; they can take care of you themselves!)
Marketing advice: Well, you really don't need any - but may I just quote this: "All work and no play..."
Sagittarius
Hey, this is a fun office! Radio blaring, funky music, brightly painted murals on the walls - you once tried to set up your office on the back lawn, but forgot about the rain - and you go around humming "Don't fence me in". Yesterday you lost a contract because the client told you what to do. (He said he was only trying to explain how he'd like it done!) And as for that one little assignment sitting all alone beside the pending tray (you feel less committed that way), well, maybe the client will forget all about it, because, quite frankly, it's a boring piece of work and you've lost interest! Anyone for tennis?
Marketing advice: Find yourself a Libran friend to tutor you in tact and diplomacy. Are you really sure you want to do this? You hate being locked in the office!
Capricorn
This looks like one of those old-fashioned offices from the sixties: dark timber panelled walls, framed diplomas, and solid sensible furniture. No, of course I'm not suggesting you are a fuddy-duddy! You are so desirous of acquiring prestige, you will do almost anything to achieve it. You take everything seriously. (Probably even these comments!) Capricorns perform with careful deliberation, meticulously, and professionally. Always courteous - but jokes are often wasted on them, and so is this!
Marketing advice: You don't really need any, but lighten up a little - it's only life, after all!
Aquarius
Welcome to the twilight zone! Your office décor is, shall we say, interesting. You've got everything that opens and shuts here, and even you don't know what everything does, but you're in the process of pulling it all apart so you will soon find out. You don't go after the conventional contracts - your address book includes NASA, and a couple of Einstein's buddies who not only need help typing their abstract theories, but welcome new ideas - yours! I'm not sure if you are simply a very intriguing individual, or just a complete fruitcake - but you do get the work done - your way, in your time.
Marketing advice: Can you give an Aquarian marketing advice? Do we need to?
Pisces
I think you're awake... eyes are open, but they have that glazed, dreamy look. A-ha... off with the fairies again! Your office is in nice pastel shades. Nice wallpaper... Laura Ashley, if I'm not mistaken. You aren't as intense about your business affairs as some of the others, but you do like a good mystery. Sadly, the FBI does not require your services. Still, you're not in any hurry, right? You are so agreeable, you let your clients use your PC to type their own work, then give them a discount! One day you will find the perfect business.
Marketing advice: First you have to find your niche… and stay away from Aquarians!
Related Tags: marketing, entrepreneurs, solo, home office, astrology, office, star signs
Donna Eliassen
Virtual Assistant, Ghostwriter... among other things!
Western Australia
Timezone: tomorrow!
Email: viking@southwest.com.au
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