Well, fasten your seatbelts, because you're about to take ride, a slight detour if you will... to a place where the air seems crisp, the sky seems blue, and you get to be king or queen of your own lonely (did he say lonely?) castle! It's a place high above the rest of the world, where you know everything, and you get to look down on all the other poor souls, as they scurry about in confusion. If only they were like you, then their lives would work. But let's get real, how could they ever be like you? After all, you are the only one who is always right!...

A fable obviously, but you get the idea. We've all gone down that road. And the equation for arriving there is simple: form a belief or opinion about something, find someone who doesn't agree with you, then dig in and defend your position as though your life depended on it. And voila, your very own castle in the sky! The problem is it's a castle made of cards - and you get to live there all alone.

It could be as simple as a driver cutting you off. You glare, mouth a curse (maybe even show off your longest finger?), and continue on, absolutely certain you were right and they were wrong. Yet, in those few short seconds, what you've effectively done is created separation instead of connectedness. Judgment in place of compassion. And something far removed from unconditional love. Sadly, we pull similar stunts with our families, our friends, our significant others - find something to disagree on, then bang our point across until the other person is dizzy.

So why this strong need to be right? (Flashback to the last newsletter about trying to look good...) Often, we tend to be insecure, looking to validate our egos by proving our worth - to the world, and more desperately, to ourselves. Let's face it, if we were truly secure, we wouldn't need to prove anything to anyone.

And what is it we hope to gain from being right? Perhaps we're hooked on the (false) feeling of superiority (which is basically the ego's way of disconnecting us from humanity). But soon after, we also get to feel separation, loneliness, even isolation. Narcissism invites few friends. So what we're left with is standing in our 'rightness' - and standing by ourselves.

How can you tell when you're trying to be right? You may start to feel agitated, defensive, even threatened. Perhaps your speaking tone becomes 'Holier-Than-Thou.' Maybe you look at others as bumbling and incompetent. Whatever feelings come up for you, just notice the need to be right causes you to feel separate - and life is certainly not meant to be lived that way.

Okay, so how do we turn this detour around? First, we must understand that ours is not the only way of seeing the world. In fact, there is no 'correct' view on anything. There are as many different worlds as there are people. When we come to understand this, the need to prove we're right subsides. Also, the next time you feel yourself beginning to judge, try sprinkling some compassion into the mix instead. Take a moment to stand in another's world, and watch what opens up for you. Your world can't help but expand when you begin to share in another's view. That's when you truly appreciate the All-That-Is nature of reality. Your life takes on more meaning, and you grow in the process - and growing is really all we've come to earth to do.

Beliefs and opinions are simply that - beliefs and opinions. Having one doesn't make it true. In every situation, you have a choice. You can stand in being right (and being alone), or you can stand in connectedness, in the truth that there is no such thing as right and wrong. Instead of trying to be right, why not seek to be connected and understood instead? And the quickest way to do that is to connect with and understand others first. Now what could be more right than that?

Until next time.

With love,

-Jeff