Current Affairs, Paulson Hires Robert Mugabe As Financial Advisor
"We are extremely fortunate to be able to call upon Mr. Mugabe's unique expertise in rampant inflation, a tanking economy, exploiting the taxpayers, encouraging corporate corruption,and also in the art of printing money on a just-in-time basis," the Treasury Secretart announced from the tenth hole at Augusta.
Wall Street and corporate America applauded the move.
The CEO of one of Detroit's so-called autobile manufacurers announced, "this is a great day for America! Finally, the unions and other unruly elements will be eliminated. I am authorizing our luxury unit to design a mink and gold-plated stretch for President Mugabe."
On Wall Street, the CEO of a major financial institution who wished to remain anonymous- as he had all his business career- declared, "finally we will be provided with the muscle to rip off not only the taxpayer base, but also the pension funds, the Chinese, and mom and pop investors."
A senior executive of the treasury's printing contractors said by telephone from his retreat in the Cayman Islands, "we are celebrating. We are in overtime mode from now on, rush orders for new money every few hours. We have our chief designer working on what we call the "golden parachute" note, a billion dollar bill based on the Zimbabwe model, with Kenneth Lay's portrait instead of the same old presidents."
The Department of Homeland Security has bought Las Vegas, and are currently converting it into a palace/office/execution ground complex for Mr. Mugabe.
Related Tags: wall street, financial meltdown, treasury secretary
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