How many of you parents have tickets or products to sell? You know, raffle tickets or candy or some other goody to help "the cause" raise money? How many of you enjoy harassing friends and family to buy these things? Does it bother you to know that people prefer a mailbox of anthrax to a visit from you?

Well, I've been there and done that. I've unloaded magazine subscriptions on our neighbors and family for school trips. I've sold our friends raffle tickets, gift wrap, candy, fruit, and a plethora of ridiculously priced items to support sports teams, band, yearbooks, beauty pageants, the cheerleading squad, and 4-H.

But truth be told, I hate fund-raising and everything it represents. Sticking your hand out and expecting others to pay for your pet projects goes against everything I believe in. I'm from the old school that teaches there's much value in working for your money, and I hate asking others to pay for something my kids want to do. To me, it seems fund-raisers send our kids a mixed message. We say "work not welfare," yet it's all right to ask for money if you're going to sports camp or Mission Mexico.

Now, I did argue this point with the higher-ups (the school superintendent--aka: God), but to no avail. I was forced to peddle my goods while I simultaneously bought everything hawked by the other parents and their kids. In case you're a newbie to this whole process, you should know that gratefulness has a price and it's expensive. Once someone buys something from your kid you're bound to an invisible, yet unbreakable contract that states you will buy products you don't want from their kids (and the kids of their kids) until you die. Actually, death is really more of a contractual "gray area," so don't count on it for an out.

However, I've decided enough is enough; it's time to step out of the box and look at this problem from a bigger picture. If you're sick of harassing friends and family with fund-raising projects--or more to the point, you're sick of getting harassed--I'm here to tell you that I've discovered a whole untapped seller's market out there juicy-ripe for the picking. But the real beauty of it is that these people willingly come to your home without any effort on your part.

Who are these gracious, eager souls? Why, they're the telemarketers who call the second your entire family sits down to dinner. And as wide as that market is, there are many deserving others begging for your wares as well: politicians, religious representatives, carpet cleaners, window and siding reps (who just happen to be in your area anyway), and the fish and fruit guys.

You can turn unwanted solicitors into buyers and here's how: Next time a telemarketer calls, agree to look at their product if they agree to buy several cases of those Girl Scout cookies from you. As for the friendly folks passing out brochures and pamphlets, make sure you return the favor by handing them an order form for some of those obscenely expensive cashews. And whatever you do, don't let those political campaigners out of your door without a box or two of relaxation-scented candles. Lastly, include raffle tickets supporting your kid's team with every completed mail survey. Ask that the tickets, along with their check, be filled out and returned in a timely fashion, then be sure to thank them in advance for their help.

Copyright Mary M. Bauer. You are free to use this article in part or full provided you include the bio.