For most of us, throwing a party means pressure. Many people find the stress of organizing a gathering enough to burst their balloon, so to speak. The Shot In The Dark Mystery Maiden insists that need not be the case. Everyone should be able to throw a murder mystery, birthday, anniversary or dinner party with confidence! Here are seven tips from Mystery to ensure the planning process is not a painful practice.

1. Keep lists When planning a party, keep a list of preparations in your pocket, purse or wallet. It's instant peace of mind! Some people prefer to keep their lists on a computer, but there are benefits to choosing a notebook instead, which you can keep with you at all times. First, don't underestimate the power of striking an item off your list. Items you accomplish are tiny triumphs that keep you motivated. Also, ideas come at the most inconvenient times. With your piece of paper and a pen at the ready, you will be sure not to forget a moment of creative genius! Third, the act of writing something down on a piece of paper clears it from your mind, and you will find it easier to think, relax, sleep and be ultimately more productive.

2. Plan "buffer days" When I host a party or facilitate someone else's murder mystery game, I allow myself one or two "buffer days" before the party. To create buffer days, you must plan to have the pre-party tasks completed one or two days before the party. Then, if something does go wrong, you have time to enact a contingency plan. For example, a vital guest cancels at the last minute leaving you with a character (or a place at the dining table) to fill. Because you've planned buffer days, you now have two whole days to find someone to take their place. Buffer days also help with food preparation, cleaning - anything else that could go wrong. If the heavens smile on you and everything goes to plan, you now have two days to relax so you greet your guests with a friendly smile rather than a forehead full of worry lines. 3. Be assertive with RSVPs. Some parties, including mystery game parties, require the host to know who is attending ahead of time so she can assign characters or create place cards. Many hosts feel uncomfortable calling guests who are on the fence to ask if they will be attending definitively. Remember, you do not have to be aggressive, but you do want to be assertive. There is nothing wrong with calling your guests who haven't committed and asking them for a solid answer. If they can't commit, tell them you're sorry to hear that, but you'll have to move someone else into their place. With the guest list solidified, you will have one less thing to worry about in the final hours before your party.

4. Make the dress code clear to your guests. Picture it: you're hosting a late-October murder mystery party. You put on dress clothes, light candles and set the table nicely. Your first guests arrive in jeans and t-shirts. The next guests arrive dressed up as their character. Your third group of guests arrives in zombie costumes, assuming it was a Halloween theme. You're not the only one who can be embarrassed in this situation. Guests also worry about being under-dressed, over-dressed or inappropriately dressed. This can all be avoided with a simple "formal dress" or "dress as your character" notation on your invitations.

5. Craft a fabulous guest list With a fantastic guest list, your party will undertake a life of its own. With a dull guest list... well, your party will follow suit. Think of the people you know. Though they are all your friends, some may thrive as a murder mystery game character, slinging accusations as fast as they do martinis, while others may thrive in a quiet dinner party setting. Craft your guest list to your party theme, sit back and watch the magic.

6. Prevent anticipatory anxiety Hosting an event can create anxiety and tension. Anticipatory anxiety - that is, anticipating every possible outcome, is the number one reason throwing parties can be stressful. Remember - not everything has to be perfect. The only person expecting perfection is you - your guests are probably just delighted to see you and excited about playing the murder mystery game. So ease up on yourself and don't expect perfection. If you begin to feel anxious when you think of your upcoming murder mystery party or dinner event, relax. Sit down for fifteen minutes and read a book, or do something you like to do. You will recharge your body batteries instantly and prevent a physical reaction that is harmful to your health.

7. Keep a crisis companion Designate a crisis companion - someone who can be on-call at the last minute in case things go horribly wrong. This could be a spouse, an older child or a friend. Your crisis companion can help you by running last minute errands, finding more chairs when your guest list suddenly doubles, or even reminding you to remain calm if you freak out. If you chose a friend as your crisis companion, you can return the favour and become her crisis companion for her next event. Even though you may not use your crisis companion, knowing they are there to help will make your preparations less stressful.

Mystery Maiden writes and facilitates murder mystery, general mystery, forensics and custom mystery games for Shot In The Dark Mysteries. For more party host tips, quizzes and more, visit www.shotinthedarkmysteries.com. The Mystery Maiden can also be reached via email at mysterymaiden@shotinthedarkmysteries.com.