There are basic behaviors expected of the ideal guest regardless of the nature of the party. First, be punctual. Arriving early can interfere with the host's last minute preparations. Arriving late can be awkward, especially if it is a dinner party.

Second, the best gift you can bring your host is yourself and your conversation. I recommend that you do not bring flowers or food, unless, of course, it's a potluck! That admonition includes chocolates or desserts! If you feel you must bring something, consider a good bottle of wine, one that you enjoy yourself. Just don't expect your host to serve it. It is a gift and as such, need not be shared with others in attendance.

Third, be a good conversationalist, which often means being a good listener. It's a fact that people like people who show a sincere interest in what they think and in what they have to say. It is a form of flattery to be attentive. That is not to say that you must remain silent. Keep your conversation light and brief and be respectful. Don't attempt to dominate the conversation and wind up being a bore! Its conversation, not a contest, so suppress those Type A urges.

Fourth, compliment the host on the food, refreshments, hors d'œuvres, whatever! Do this early in the evening and be sincere without gushing too much.

Fifth, when the party is over, it's over! Don't stay beyond your welcome! Be certain to thank your guest for an enjoyable evening.

The flip side of the coin is hosting! Hosting a party can be exasperating! If you've the stomach for it, here are a few pointers.

First, you must plan ahead of time and give your guests time to plan ahead of time as well. The invitation, formal or informal, should be extended at least two weeks before the party's date. Your planning will include guest list, food, snacks, refreshments, location, date, time, theme etc. Also, cook or prepare what you can beforehand. Advance preparation of food and party decorations, can ease the stress you will feel as the date draws near. The more relaxed you are the better host you will be. Bottom-line, don't leave things to the last minute. This is very important.

Second, it is your job to make your guests comfortable. Greet each guest personally when they arrive. Make them feel at ease.

Third, make sure you have enough seating for your guests and that you have not invited more people than can be accommodated comfortably in the physical space you have available.

Fourth, have an adequate quantity of food, snacks, etc. for your guests. You are not a good host if people have to drop by the night window at Burger King on the road home.

Fifth, remember to be attentive to all your guests. Circulate and divide your attentions among them to the extent possible.

Now you have both sides of the party coin. Personally, I prefer to be the guest! How about you?