What are signs of a commitment phobic man? How to handle a commitment phobic? Do you have a fear of commitment? What in any case would be the dictionary meaning of commitment? There is often a need to get advice on your special fear of commitment, and of course there are different types of commitment - yet usually we are talking about relationships and the fundamental question: what is lifetime commitment? Read on if this interests you…there is a system that can make things clearer.

Predictably we need to become clear about what we are trying to achieve. This is true for all and everything, from what is useful to dealing with painful feelings. The problem is to know how to get that clarity and then to uncover the solutions to whatever problems we have to deal with. The 7 Words System offers an easy instinctive structure that enables us to reach a greatly improved feeling of what we are looking for. It begins with the word No. We need firstly to identify accurately what we do not want what is not useful, before we can know what we do want.
The following phase correlates with the word Hello. We will need to make ourselves open to new ideas and people if we want to open out our scope of solutions to life's various riddles. Surely to get something new we will need to stretch our horizons and look where we have not previously looked already. Fresh ideas, new friends, new places and new things are clearly parts of giving a degree of awareness to something we have not formerly experienced. This entails that we trade old for new, that can tender something in fair return for what we want to acquire.

Among all available options, some are more attractive than others and of course we want them to have a higher importance, because we appreciate them more. This is explained by the primary word Thanks. Over and over again, we disregard the meaning of what we have, then blindly move into ingratitude and are likely to presume things will always be the way they have been before.

It's more than simply courteousness to reveal our appreciation for things we value; it has an important effect in helping us to accomplish our goals. Unconsciously, we are attracted to what we pronounce our thanks for, and yet it's equally accurate to say that we will be able to magnetize them to us too. We acquire pull when we say Thanks and therefore, if we do so, we readily bring things towards us.

Goodbye is the fourth of the 7 primary words and relates to a procedure having 4 clearly defined phases. They are: realization, decision, completion and moving on. What we are saying Goodbye to is a possible stage of change, which is perceived in basic terms as full-blown rejection of a possible course of action that previously we had been stepping towards and in future will not follow. It is a turning point in our selection of would-be futures.

Goodbye is different from No because it suggests that there has been a degree of involvement already, which now needs to end compared to No's denial in the first place. Firm decisions cut the past away utterly and that incisiveness produces an opportunity that otherwise does not appear.

The future develops according to the customs of the past unless we take control of it and bend it to our will. To do this compels us to have a vision of how we want it to be; this vision has to be very clear, unambiguous and optimistic-and transformed into intention. They differ don't-vision and intention? The first is to some extent dreamlike and the second is much more directed and deliberate.

For a vision to become real there must be cooperation. Nothing can be done without winning the help of others-this takes skill, probably persuasion, even inspiration. It is not always necessary to offer something such as money or money's worth.

Sorry, the sixth word is best seen as repairing damage done because we've been insensitive or heedless to the needs or wants of someone else. The best plan is to make sure we avoid the need to say it by being considerate in advance. Why on earth should we? Well it's because anyone we upset may well act against us and reduce our chances of success, so it is simply more sensible to think of others as well as ourselves.

It is all to do with being responsible, having some feelings for anyone we've upset and making amends when we've done wrong. Only then is it possible to avoid or repair resentment and release the permanent unpleasantness that otherwise would grow and fester.

The final stage of our 7 Words model is to do with acceptance; there are times when we simply have to accept what we cannot change. The word is Yes. It would be lovely wouldn't it if we were able to make the world exactly the way we envision it-but in fact we can't. We always need to take what comes, and to take what is not exactly what we asked for.

The best thing is to trust that everything eventually turns around to our advantage, that the modifications to our plans are all improvements when seen in the perspective of the longer term. Surely it's not easy to see it when we are still close and attached to our desires-of course not! Yet wait a bit and you'll see that the unlooked-for occurrences, the surprises and disappointments are actually the best bits disguised as misfortune.

James Burgess 2008