Are You Part of The Sexual Evolution
I was a college freshman and a girl invited me over to see her dorm room. After spending an hour together, seeing her stuff, I left to go to dinner. Months later I was told by one of her close friends that she was expecting me to have sex with her. Looking back, I then recalled that we had spent a lot of time talking to her on her bed. Boy, was I naive. But I didn't know all the new rules of seduction. Instead, I continued to remember the morality of the fifties where sex wasn't discussed in private, let alone in public. So I fumbled my way through my first real sexual encounter a year later and learned as I went along. Sure, I had seen Playboy Magazine and even thumbed through the National Geographic in my youth. I was an art student and experienced life drawing classes. I knew anatomy and what went on between adults. But sex was still just something that was both secret and mysterious.
Enter the Seventies. I began to have a girl friend. We bought some sex position books and gave them a try. We even tried oral sex. It was okay but not great. We were tentative and not very good. But now sex was on the front page of Cosmopolitan Magazine and on every talk show. Bikinis and thongs were common and Victoria Secrets and Fredrick's of Hollywood showed up at the malls. Younger kids were having sex and the music of the times had more explicit lyrics. The abundance of liquor and drugs probably helped as well.
Years later, I married and became aware of family members and friend's issues with relationships. My former relative I'll call Fred left my other female relative because of "sexual incapability" he claimed. In other words, she wouldn't give him enough BJs, as he put it. Therefore he sought and found a much younger woman that would. So much for loyalty and emotional attachments. I also saw other couples break up because of sexual differences. Usually one wanted it more than the other. Now it's the next millennia and nothing much has changed. Sex is everywhere and love is secondary. It's still a taboo subject in many places and yet rape is up and molesting skyrocketing. Where do we go from here?
I am remarried but I am also a widower and I do not believe in divorce. My wife is also a widow. We have a terrific sex life, but that's because we (a) have grown children who live on their own, (b) work out of the home, (c) are old enough to know what we want and what pleases us, and (d) know we don't need to find sex elsewhere. Most sexual problems are just that. They can be worked on with education and communication. There are therapists, online discussion forums, sex shops for toys and clothing, and supportive family members and friends. Looking for fresh sex outside the home means that there is a sexual disfunctionalism that needs attention. In this current world of sexual openness, there are no excuses any more. The answers are out there if you can only take the time and trouble to seek them and perhaps save your marriage at the same time. I'm a husband and dad, so don't forget about another great fifties show, Father Knows Best. Class dismissed.
Related Tags: love, children, marriage, parents, lifestyle, divorce, single, sex, teen, sexual, evolution
Jeffrey Hauser was a sales consultant for the Bell System Yellow Pages for nearly 25 years. He graduated from Pratt Institute with a BFA in Advertising and has a Master's Degree in teaching. He had his own advertising agency in Scottsdale, Arizona and ran a consulting and design firm, ABC Advertising. He has authored 6 books and a novel, "Pursuit of the Phoenix." His latest book is, "Inside the Yellow Pages" which can be seen at his website, http://www.poweradbook.com Currently, he is the Marketing Director for http://www.thenurseschoice.com, a Health Information and Doctor Referral site.
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