Dealing With Adult Children Who Ask For Money


by - Date: 2007-07-19 - Word Count: 625 Share This!

If you have an adult child who constantly asks you for money, you may need to realize and accept the fact that you probably contributed to the child being that way. You also need to realize and accept that you will need to take some difficult steps to change that habit as well.

When adult children constantly ask their parents for money even after they have moved out on their own, the habit can be an indication that the child was never fully taught the importance of money management. They may not know how to make their own paycheck stretch properly for instance, or they may not understand the concept of how quickly money can disappear when you spend a few dollars here and a few dollars there. The adult child may also not understand the concept of credit accounts and cards, and if this is the case they are headed for some serious financial trouble in their future.

An adult child who constantly asks their parents for money is usually very used to getting money from their parents. In other words, the parents rarely if ever say no, and things have been that way for many years of their lives. When a child gets money from Mom or Dad anytime they want it as they're growing up, they often continue the same habits and beliefs once they're grown too. And unfortunately, Mom and Dad often continue handing out the cash even though the child is now an adult.

After a time of handing over money to your adult child regularly, most parents start becoming frustrated and wonder when the child will ever actually start standing on their own two feet. If however, the parents have fostered this behavior when the child still lived at home, and they've been fostering it for some time after the child moved out to live as an adult on their own, then it will take some time and difficult steps to break the habits too.

As a responsible parent, you need to make sure your child is able to take care of themselves properly as an adult. And money management is one of the most important skills for you to teach them. It is easier to help teach your child money management skills before they reach adulthood, but all is not lost if they're now adults and continuously expecting you to give them money.

There are several ways to start changing the habit. First, you can simply say no the next time your son or daughter asks for money. If that feels too abrupt, then you can start grilling them for details about why they need the money.

If for instance, your son asks for $100 so that he can pay his car insurance bill, then that may be a legitimate reason for you to give him money. You must however, ask him why he doesn't have the bill covered. If he has a job which earns him enough to pay all of his regular bills, then there is a reason he doesn't have the insurance money. And when you start asking for in depth details, you may find that he splurged on a night out with friends, or he bought a brand new TV he didn't need. In some cases though, you may actually find that he has much more serious money problems than you knew. He could for instance, have built up tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt and now be struggling to pay the minimum monthly balances.

By asking questions, you'll be better able to determine what financial help, skills or training your adult child needs. And you'll also be able to say no more often, if the money is being requested for frivolous things they don't actually need.

Related Tags: relationships, advice, adult children, dealing with adult children, helping your adult children

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