Dealing With Adult Children Who Ask For Money
- Date: 2007-07-19 - Word Count: 625
Share This!
If you have an adult child who constantly asks you for money, you may need to realize and accept the fact that you probably contributed to the child being that way. You also need to realize and accept that you will need to take some difficult steps to change that habit as well.
When adult children constantly ask their parents for money even after they have moved out on their own, the habit can be an indication that the child was never fully taught the importance of money management. They may not know how to make their own paycheck stretch properly for instance, or they may not understand the concept of how quickly money can disappear when you spend a few dollars here and a few dollars there. The adult child may also not understand the concept of credit accounts and cards, and if this is the case they are headed for some serious financial trouble in their future.
An adult child who constantly asks their parents for money is usually very used to getting money from their parents. In other words, the parents rarely if ever say no, and things have been that way for many years of their lives. When a child gets money from Mom or Dad anytime they want it as they're growing up, they often continue the same habits and beliefs once they're grown too. And unfortunately, Mom and Dad often continue handing out the cash even though the child is now an adult.
After a time of handing over money to your adult child regularly, most parents start becoming frustrated and wonder when the child will ever actually start standing on their own two feet. If however, the parents have fostered this behavior when the child still lived at home, and they've been fostering it for some time after the child moved out to live as an adult on their own, then it will take some time and difficult steps to break the habits too.
As a responsible parent, you need to make sure your child is able to take care of themselves properly as an adult. And money management is one of the most important skills for you to teach them. It is easier to help teach your child money management skills before they reach adulthood, but all is not lost if they're now adults and continuously expecting you to give them money.
There are several ways to start changing the habit. First, you can simply say no the next time your son or daughter asks for money. If that feels too abrupt, then you can start grilling them for details about why they need the money.
If for instance, your son asks for $100 so that he can pay his car insurance bill, then that may be a legitimate reason for you to give him money. You must however, ask him why he doesn't have the bill covered. If he has a job which earns him enough to pay all of his regular bills, then there is a reason he doesn't have the insurance money. And when you start asking for in depth details, you may find that he splurged on a night out with friends, or he bought a brand new TV he didn't need. In some cases though, you may actually find that he has much more serious money problems than you knew. He could for instance, have built up tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt and now be struggling to pay the minimum monthly balances.
By asking questions, you'll be better able to determine what financial help, skills or training your adult child needs. And you'll also be able to say no more often, if the money is being requested for frivolous things they don't actually need.
When adult children constantly ask their parents for money even after they have moved out on their own, the habit can be an indication that the child was never fully taught the importance of money management. They may not know how to make their own paycheck stretch properly for instance, or they may not understand the concept of how quickly money can disappear when you spend a few dollars here and a few dollars there. The adult child may also not understand the concept of credit accounts and cards, and if this is the case they are headed for some serious financial trouble in their future.
An adult child who constantly asks their parents for money is usually very used to getting money from their parents. In other words, the parents rarely if ever say no, and things have been that way for many years of their lives. When a child gets money from Mom or Dad anytime they want it as they're growing up, they often continue the same habits and beliefs once they're grown too. And unfortunately, Mom and Dad often continue handing out the cash even though the child is now an adult.
After a time of handing over money to your adult child regularly, most parents start becoming frustrated and wonder when the child will ever actually start standing on their own two feet. If however, the parents have fostered this behavior when the child still lived at home, and they've been fostering it for some time after the child moved out to live as an adult on their own, then it will take some time and difficult steps to break the habits too.
As a responsible parent, you need to make sure your child is able to take care of themselves properly as an adult. And money management is one of the most important skills for you to teach them. It is easier to help teach your child money management skills before they reach adulthood, but all is not lost if they're now adults and continuously expecting you to give them money.
There are several ways to start changing the habit. First, you can simply say no the next time your son or daughter asks for money. If that feels too abrupt, then you can start grilling them for details about why they need the money.
If for instance, your son asks for $100 so that he can pay his car insurance bill, then that may be a legitimate reason for you to give him money. You must however, ask him why he doesn't have the bill covered. If he has a job which earns him enough to pay all of his regular bills, then there is a reason he doesn't have the insurance money. And when you start asking for in depth details, you may find that he splurged on a night out with friends, or he bought a brand new TV he didn't need. In some cases though, you may actually find that he has much more serious money problems than you knew. He could for instance, have built up tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt and now be struggling to pay the minimum monthly balances.
By asking questions, you'll be better able to determine what financial help, skills or training your adult child needs. And you'll also be able to say no more often, if the money is being requested for frivolous things they don't actually need.
Related Tags: relationships, advice, adult children, dealing with adult children, helping your adult children
Looking for more information on Relationships with Family Members? YourLifeAfter50.com is an authoritative site for Helping Your Adult Children and issues that affect them Your Article Search Directory : Find in Articles
Recent articles in this category:
- Top Riding Toys For 201
Children love the excitement and adventure that can be found by cruising on their own ride on toy. W - Picking the Best Size Bike For Your Child
Bicycling can be a great way for your child to get a little extra exercise. Learning to ride a bike - How to Help Your Kids Through Difficult Events
Even as a child or adolescent we may face challenging times when things seem to be crashing down aro - How to Make Your Home Safe For a Young Child
New parents often spend weeks preparing their home for the arrival of their new baby. While there is - 4 Things to Know Before You Buy a Diaper Bag
Some things to keep in mind before you purchase the diaper bag are the following: material, the cost - Exciting Food Suggestions For Kids
Making kids eat healthy food is a big task every mother goes through. With kids pre-occupied with pl - Add Modern Touches to Your Toddler's Room With Modern Toddler Bedding
Decorating a child's room presents parents with several different challenges simultaneously: Choosin - When Should You Be Concerned About Your Baby's Health?
Your baby's health is one of the most important and delicate things that you have to keep abreast of - Having a Happy and Healthy Baby With the Benefits of Baby Massage
Mothers have known for centuries the benefits of baby massage, the world over. In many Asian countri - Diaper Bags And Their Uses
Parents usually need to take diaper bags along with them if they out on a trip. Especially, if the b
Most viewed articles in this category:
- The Perfect Parent...Who Are We Kidding?
I get the feeling that there are a lot of moms and dads out there that feel they're not measuring up - Partial Breastfeeding - Should I Even Bother?
For some women, feeding a baby with breastmilk alone is not possible. The reasons for this vary. For - Skateboarding In The Eighties To The Present
Skateboarding traces its roots to the seventies but it really reached the peak of its popularity in - How Breastfeeding Benefits A Daddy
You know that breastfeeding is best for mother and child, but what's in it for Dad? Isn't he going t - Child-Appropriate Costumes: Violence, Sexuality, And Insensitivity
So your daughter wants to be Wonder Woman for Hallowe'en, or your son wants to be Batman. They're bo - The Evolution Of Vitamin B5 For Acne
I came across the benefits of Vitamin B5 6 years ago whilst searching for an acne treatment that act - Depression And Teens - Six Signs That Your Child May Be Suffering From Depression
Most people are now aware of the seriousness of depression. This has become much more common and mor - Parenting Teenager - Take Time For Your Teen!
BookWire's "Year in Reviews Magazine," December 2006 issue, lists a review of my book "Help Me With - Why It's Important To Follow A Healthy Diet When Pregnant
Pregnancy is one of the most physically enduring times in our lives, and it is more important than e - Sleep Separation And Your Child
It seems harmless enough, lying down with your child while he goes to sleep, but it could be that sl