Say Good-bye To Social Phobias With Hypnotherapy & Nlp Cd's


by Alan B. Densky, CH - Date: 2007-04-18 - Word Count: 1379 Share This!

A social phobia is a fear of interacting with others on a social level. Examples would be imagining others are looking at you while waiting in line at a checkout, talking in front of other people, or even fear of talking on the phone.

Self-confidence is a position that allows people to have confident, yet realistic views of themselves and their plight. Self-confident people have confidence in their own competence, have a general sense of control over their lives, and have confidence that, within reason, they will be able to do what they want to do.

Self-confidence is a perspective that is garnered through experiences. When a person experiences success, that person will tend to expect to be successful. And that very expectation itself will cause a feeling of confidence.

As another example: A young man wants to be a prizefighter, so he takes lessons, and gets a manager. His manager will not arrange a bout for his fighter until he has built up enough proficient fighting skills. And even then, the manager will only put him up against a rival that he knows his fighter can batter. When his fighter beats the rival, he is successful, and starts to gain self-confidence in his capabilities.

With each combat, the manager puts his contestant up against a rival who is a slightly better challenger then the last, but not good enough to beat his fighter. By the end of the third fight, the young fighter begins to expect to win his fourth, and so his confidence continues to grow. This scenario continues to repeat itself. And as long as the fighter contestant is victorious, his expectations of success, and his feelings of self-confidence will continue to accrue.

As another example: A young lady who is in fear of being in high places wants to learn to dive into a swimming pool from a very high diving board. So she finds a diving coach. he asks her to dive into the pool from the first rung of the ladder that is going up to the high board. The first rung of the ladder isn't too high, so the young lady is totally free of fear, and she dives from that rung, and lands in the water unharmed.

Next, the instructor has her take a jump from the second rung of the ladder, and so forth. I believe that you get the idea here. With each incremental step she takes as she climbs higher up the ladder, since the girl was able to jump without fear, and this next step is only slightly higher then the last, the fear of being harmed factor is negligible, and the girl expects to be successful. When she dives in and is successful, the girl's confidence grows, and her expectation of success on the next step up the ladder increases.

If a person who has a long history of success and feelings of confidence does fail, they still tend to expect success the next time out. Conversely, when a person who is weak in the self-confidence department fails, they tend to lose confidence, and create expectations of failure, which usually becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Having true self-confidence doesn't mean that individuals will be able to do everything. People, who have true self-confidence, usually have expectations that are down-to-earth. Even when some of their expectations are not met, they continue to be decisive and to accept themselves.

People, who are not self-confident, tend to depend disproportionately on the confirmation of other people in order to feel self-assured. They refrain from taking risks for fear of failure. They put themselves down and tend to discount compliments that they receive.

On the other side of the coin, self-confident people will risk being disapproved by other people because they generally trust their own abilities. They believe in themselves; and they do not believe that they have to conform in order to be acknowledged.

Just because a person feels self-esteem in one or more aspects of their life, doesn't mean that they will feel self-assured in every single part of their life. For example, a person might feel optimistic about their mathematical talents, but not feel confident where members of the opposite sex are involved, such as in a dating situation, or social relationships.

HOW IS Self-esteem Created initially?

Powerful phenomena have an influence on the growth of confidence. Parents' attitudes are crucial to the way children think about themselves, especially when they are very young. When parents provide acceptance, children receive a great foundation for feelings of self-worth. If one or both parents are disproportionately demanding, or if they are overprotective and discourage moves toward independence, children may be destined to believe they are incapable, inadequate, or inferior.

However, if parents encourage a child's moves toward self-reliance, and they are not overly critical when the child makes mistakes, the child will learn to accept herself, and will be on the way to developing self-confidence.

Just because a person does not have confidence, it does not mean that he/she doesn't have abilities. A lack of self-confidence is often the result of centering very strongly on the unrealistic expectancy of others primarily parents and friends. The have an influence on of friends can be more effective and powerful than that of parents in shaping the feelings about one's self.

Assumptions That Continue to Have an Influence on Self-confidence

In response to external influences, people create assumptions. Some of these are helpful and some are not helpful. Several assumptions that can interfere with confidence and alternate ways of thinking are:

ASSUMPTION: I always have to be successful at every challenge that I undertake. This assumption is totally unrealistic. In this world each person has her strengths and her weaknesses. While it is important to always do your best, it is more important to learn to accept yourself as being human, and not perfect. Feel good about what you are good at, and accept the fact that you don't know everything and you are not expected to be an expert at everything.

ASSUMPTION: I must be perfect, and loved by everyone, and satisfy everyone. Again, this is unrealistic. All human beings are open to error. It's preferable to develop personal standards and values that are not quite so dependent on the approval of others.

ASSUMPTION: Everything that happened to me in the past remains in control of my feelings and behaviors in the present.

ALTERNATIVE: While it is true that your confidence was especially subject to external influences when you were a young child as you grow to adulthood consciousness and a new slant on what those influences have been. In doing so, you can choose which influences you will continue to allow to have an effect on your life. You don't have to be helpless in the face of past events

HERE ARE SOME STRATEGIES FOR DEVELOPING CONFIDENCE

Emphasize Your Strengths. Give yourself credit for everything you can do. And give yourself acknowledgment for every new experience you are willing to try out.

Take risks. Adopt the attitude of: I never fail, because there are NO failures. However, sometimes I find out what doesn't work and once I've learned what doesn't work in a given situation, I can try something else.

Use Self-Talk: Use self-talk as a tool to counter harmful assumptions. Then, tell yourself to stop. Substitute more reasonable assumptions. For example, when you catch yourself expecting yourself to be perfect, remind yourself that it is impossible to do everything perfectly, and that it's only possible to do things to the best of your ability. This allows you to accept yourself as you are improving yourself.

Make mental movies: Picture yourself in scenes that you currently lack self-confidence in. But see yourself behaving in the way that a person who has tremendous confidence would. There are powerful Hypnosis and NLP procedures that can build up a weighty amount of confidence from within your subconscious mind. There are even NLP techniques that will let you take confidence that you do have in areas of your life, and then transplant that confidence to areas of your life that are lacking confidence!

Self-Evaluate: Learn to factor yourself as an individual human being. Bypass the habitual sense of discombobulation that comes from relying on the opinions of others.

Want to learn more about hypnosis? Visit my free hypnosis article library.

Related Tags: self-confidence, hypnotherapy, nlp, hypnotism, hypnosis, self-esteem, neuro-linguistic programming, social phobias, hypnotist, socia phobia

Alan B. Densky, CH. has been a certified hypnotist and NLP Practitioner since 1978. His site offers www.neuro-vision.us/Products/AudioConfidenceHypnosisTapes.htm">hypnosis CD's that will create a fantastic amount of self-confidence for you. His Self-confidence CD's were recently reviewed by Personal-Development.info in England.

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