Rate Yourself On The Harper Success-O-Meter
Success.
Whatever that is.
We know that success is represented by different things for different people, but society teaches us that success is typically about money, position, attractiveness, power and influence.
Some more evolved souls have philosophies like:
"We make a living by what we get, We make a life by what we give" (Winston Churchill)
Over the last few months I have done some work with a bloke, who by most people's standards, is considered to be incredibly successful. I can't be too specific for obvious reasons, but I can tell you that, despite his significant commercial success, he is, in most areas of his life, a self-confessed failure. For the purpose of this little chat, we'll call him Subject A.
Over the last thirty-three years I have had a relationship with another bloke, who happens to be my best friend in the world and, I guess by society's standards, he's your typical Aussie lad. No high-flyer; just your meat and potatoes ripper bloke. We'll call him Subject B.
Let's take a snapshot of each bloke:
Subject A
Early 50's.
Stinking rich.
Miserable, unfulfilled.
Stressed, anxious.
On wife no.4, a bunch of kids, step kids and ex-step kids.
Five houses.
Triple by-pass in his forties.
Lots of medication.
Unfulfilled, lonely, insecure.
Kind of scared about his future (tough to admit but true).
Got everything and nothing.
Subject B
43.
1 wife, 3 kids, 1 dog.
A nice house in the country on a few acres.
Works on an oil rig, 7 days on, 7 days off.
Like all of us, has tough days, but if he was a dog, he'd be a Golden Retriever;
just happy to see you, tail always wagging.
The world-famous Harper 'Success-O-Meter' works like this:
There are ten success categories, and in each category the subject is scored either a one (positive response), or a zero (negative).
Here's what the resultant scores indicate:
0 - 3: Really need to stop, re-assess, and make some significant life-decisions.
3 - 5: Has some periodic joy and fun, but overall life's kinda average and blah.
6 - 8: Going okay, at times great. Still need to work on a few things though (as we all do).
9 - 10: Got it sorted. Keep doing what you're doing... and teach others.
This is how I would rate the lads... er, subjects:
1. Physical Health
Subject A: 0
Subject B: 1
2. Financial Health
Subject A: 1
Subject B: 1
3. Laugh / Fun Factor (he/she laughs and has fun, often)
Subject A: 0
Subject B: 1
4. Psychological Health (typically positive outlook, optimist, great attitude, has the ability to 'switch off' from distractions like work etc., deals well with challenges)
Subject A: 0
Subject B: 1
5. Emotional Health (can recieve love easily, typically content, calm, relaxed, fulfilled, can and does express feelings easily to all loved ones, is okay with crying, good self-esteem, not insecure, can and does make others feel good about themselves)
Subject A: 0
Subject B: 1
6. Social Health (has, and invests time in, meaningful friendships, goes on regular holidays, hangs out, enjoys socialising, allows themself to prioritise friends, has genuine 'down time', others enjoy being around this person)
Subject A: 0
Subject B: 1
7. Spiritual Health (has some kind of spiritual beliefs and invests time and energy developing on that level, performs self-less acts of kindness, gives without expecting or wanting anything in return, open to learning and growing on a spiritual level, has faith)
Subject A: 0
Subject B: 1
8. Family Life (spends significant time with family, is not typically selfish, is happy to invest practically, emotionally and psycholgically into the family, loves being with and prioritises family)
Subject A: 0
Subject B: 1
9. Career / Vocation (looks forward to work, is stimulated and challenged by it, enjoys it, has fun at work, has made his/her passion their career, not a work-a-holic, has good work/life balance, does not try and meet emotional, psychological and/or social needs, through work)
Subject A: 0
Subject B: 1
10. Personal Growth (is genuinely interested in developing on all levels, wants to learn, grow and change for the better, is a student of life, can accept constructive feedback, is proactive not reactive, is not lazy, does not typically procrastinate or make excuses, is prepared to get uncomfortable)
Subject A: 1
Subject B: 1
Overall Scores:
Subject A: 2
Subject B: 10
So, it seems that the humble dad, father and tradesman is actually one of the most successful people I know.
Of course, how someone will score in any 'evaluation' depends completely on the criteria by which that individual is judged. I have no doubts that some people will not agree with my judging criteria, that's okay; they don't have to.
That's why it's called the Harper Success-O-Meter!
The important thing is that we periodically take the time to step back from the mayhem that is, our reality, and see if we really are living a life which is consistent with our beliefs, values, standards, principles and goals.
By the way, I have nothing against people making truck loads of money. I have a problem when that money becomes a person's identity.
People often say "money is the root of all evil", which is a mis-quote of a scripture which actually says, "the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil" (1 Timothy, 6:10).
So, money's not the problem, what it represents to (some) people, is the problem.
The take-home message?
"It doesn't matter what's happening on the outside (what the world sees), if we're not genuinely working on the inside."
Related Tags: success, motivation, inspiration
Craig Harper is a qualified exercise scientist, author, columnist, radio presenter, tv personality and owner of one of the largest appointment only personal training centres in the world.
He can be heard weekly on SEN 1116 and GOLD FM radio stations and appears on Monday's on Network Ten's 9AM.
He is also a columnist for Women's Health & Fitness, and Alpha Magazines.
inspiration, motivation, success
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