You're running ten minutes late and traffic is at a standstill. From the back seat, your daughter whines that she has to go to the bathroom NOW. Your son is playing a game that involves running his Power Ranger through your hair and yelling, "I've captured the enemy!" The big meeting at work has started without you. The driver next to you is blasting his car stereo so loudly your fillings are rattling. And the gas light has just come on.

Do you:

a. Close your eyes and visualize yourself far, far away on the warm beaches of a tropical island where no cars are allowed.
b. Turn your radio up really loud to drown out everyone, including the voices in your head that keep screaming "I want my mommy!"
c. Hiss at the kids to behave, yell at the driver next to you to have some respect for other people, and honk your horn in an effort to get someone, anyone, to move.
d. Get out of your car, sit on the curb, and have a good cry.

Let's face it, your car (or minivan, SUV, or truck) can be a stressful place. Many drivers go from Cool and Collected to Tasmanian Devil in less than sixty seconds. Unfortunately, you can't really sit in the lotus position and chant a mantra while strapped in behind the wheel. And so far, most vehicles don't come with a built-in shiatsu massager in the driver's seat or a GCS (Global Calming System), although they should.

Traffic congestion, longer commutes, and an overall increase in the number of things we have to accomplish every day all contribute to a growing sense of "street stress." Even though the majority of us don't fall into the official category of "road ragers" (aggressive drivers who take out their hostility on other drivers by tailgating, flashing headlights, weaving in and out of traffic, etc.), we often feel all stressed up with no place to go when we get in traffic situations over which we have little control. We may not yell at anyone or cut them off, but we may quietly fume and take it out later on family or co-workers. Or we may say words or use gestures in the car we would never say or do in public (and afterward wonder where our kids picked that stuff up!)

The main reason stress feels so overwhelming in the car is that we feel like we have no options. We're stuck in traffic and we think there's nothing we can do about it. But there is. We can't make the cars in front of us move out of the way, but we can move our bad attitude out of the way. Here are some simple (and fun!) things you can do to prevent yourself from getting buckled in by stress the next time you get in the car.

1. Don't seethe, snicker! Keep a collection of comedy CDs in your car, and when you feel your shoulders tensing up and your hands clenching around the steering wheel so tightly it's going to take the Jaws of Life to pry them off, turn on your CD player. Laughing along with someone who tickles your funny bone helps distract you from the things that cause you stress and helps your body feel better by providing the antidote to stress - endorphins, a strengthened immune system, lowered heart rate and blood pressure, etc.

A good place to go for comedy CDs is Laugh.com. This site features everything from classic comedians like Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller and Bill Cosby to more current comedians like Kathleen Madigan (one of my favorites) and Ray Romano.

2. Don't read 'em and weep. Have you noticed how many cars sport negative bumper stickers lately? Take a short drive down the road and you'll read "Sit down, shut up, and drive," "Yes, I do own the road," or "Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot." Even when funny, all these negative thoughts have a way of making us a little more annoyed and irritated. The messages we're exposed to day in and day out help our mood and attitude.

If your car has a stress-inducing bumper sticker or two on the rear bumper, replace it with something more positive such as "Don't postpone joy," "Just say no to negativity," "What if the Hokey-Pokey IS what it's all about?" or "Lord help me be the person my dog thinks I am." A more positive message will not only help keep the person behind you from getting stressed out, but every time you walk to your car you'll get a little pick me up instead of reinforcing a bad attitude.

3. Card them. Sometimes the best thing you can do when traffic is awful is to get out of it, and one of the best places to escape to is a card store. While everyone else is overheating in their vehicles, you'll be spending time reading funny greeting cards and laughing (and, if you're smart, getting all your greeting cards purchased for birthdays, weddings, and showers for the next few months!) Given the choice between reading a road sign that says "Construction next 12 miles. Prepare to stop." or a greeting card that says, "I had to quit jogging because every time I ran my shorts caught on fire," which would you choose? That's what I thought!

Usually a 10-15 minute visit to a card store is all it takes to give traffic a chance to thin out and make your commute much easier. And if you're still giggling when you get back in the car, even better.

4. Create your own in-car sitcom. Everyone occasionally does something stupid and dangerous on the road (yes that includes you!) The woman in front of you not only applied her mascara in morning rush hour, she put on her pantyhose. The guy next to you was reading the morning paper while checking his e-mail on his cell phone. And you could have sworn the kids in the car behind you were watching MTV while driving to school. When we do idiotic things in traffic, we know we have a good reason, but when other people do them, we automatically jump to the conclusion they should have their driver's license suspended. Because we don't know them personally, we feel free to think the worst about them rather than giving them the benefit of the doubt. How many times have you started fuming over a bad driver and been prepared to let them know what you think of them and then noticed it was your neighbor or your mother behind the wheel? Once we put a face with the driver, we tend to behave more rationally.

The next time a driver cuts all the way across the freeway in front of three lanes of traffic to get to the exit, create your own funny story to explain things. Perhaps he just got back from the ophthalmologist and his pupils are still dilated. Or maybe she attempted to turn into the closest lane when her scarf got caught in the steering wheel and yanked it all the way to the right. Perhaps a Power Ranger or a My Little Pony came flying through the air, hitting her on the head and causing a moment of temporary insanity. No matter what story you come up with, it's definitely better than sitting in your car fuming about things!

5. Replace your shout with a snout. Sometimes it's the silliest little things that are the best at distracting us from going into our stress response (fight or flight, neither of which is a good option on the road). For years, I've kept a selection of plastic animal snouts (and beaks) in my glove box and whenever traffic crawls to a standstill and it's clear I'm going nowhere fast, I put one on. It always changes my attitude. And when the people in the other cars see me with a toucan beak or an elephant trunk, they can't help but change their attitudes as well. I find the whole thing works best it you act like nothing is out of the ordinary when people stare at you.

6. Set up a language barrier. Sometimes a strong word or two seems to get the stress out of your system faster than squelching your feelings. But you don't want those words repeated by your kids, nor do you probably feel good about saying them yourself. My suggestion? Create your own language with words that are meaningless but make you feel better just to say them. Borrow a word from an old TV show like Mork & Mindy, for example. I love "Shazbot!" Or make up your own words like "Gurklet" or "Thumberstink." And if you say them with a smile, no one will be the wiser.

7. Let stress bubble up, up and away. There's something about blowing bubbles and watching them float away that bring a smile to almost everyone (including my dog). Keep a bottle of bubbles hanging from your rear-view mirror and the next time you feel the irritation bubbling over, open your window and let the childishness begin! A great selection of bubbles on a string - including the smile-face version - is available from OrientalTrading.com.

There's no point in getting stressed out on the road, especially when it's so easy - and fun - to diffuse the tension and distract yourself from the little traffic annoyances that eat away at you. Use these simple tips to regain control of your attitude and get wherever you're going safely, calmly, and if done right, with a silly grin on your face.