Hands up if you think you're good in bed. That's wonderful. But can you make a girl come without taking off your trousers while telling her how hot she is? It's a skill womankind will thank you for - over and over again. ‘Fingering' isn't the nicest word in the sex dictionary, but to be good at it shows a woman you're a master of the carnal arts. All you need is a pair of hands and to know when - and how - to deploy them.

You're Kissing, but somehow she doesn't seem to be into it

She's thinking: This is a bit same-old, same-old. It's a shame he can't shake it up a little. Where you put your hands during a kiss can make or break the experience for her. Sometimes it's not your mouth or tongue that sends quivers down her spine, but the location of your hands. So try sliding your hand up and down the sides of her upper body.

You're Feeling Passionate, so you grab her backside. Hard

She's thinking: I'm not dough. How can you assess whether it's the right time for a fast and furious approach? As you're kissing or touching, speed it up just a little or apply a firmer touch - if she responds by pushing back at you harder, grabbing your behind just as firmly and pressing her lips hard against yours, then she's feeling just as frisky.

But if you don't get that response, and she remains soft in your arms or even slows down, then she's not ready for that level of touch yet. Take your time, keep touching her gently, maybe even pull away for a bit to tease her and get her revved up.

You've got your Hand Between her Legs, you're not sure where to put your fingers, so you put them inside.

She's thinking: Play with my lips. Her clitoris isn't just that little nub you can see. It extends several centimeters inside her vagina - not down the vaginal canal, where you put your penis, but around the outer lips (labia majora) in two ‘arms' (consult an atlas of human anatomy if you're confused).

So stroke her lips from bottom to top using several fingers at once. Using one moist finger to trace the inside of the outer lips, then inside the inner lips; use the palm of your hand on the entire lip area, rubbing gently. And hold the entire vulva in your hand with your palm on her pubic bone and your fingers facing down, covering her vaginal lips. Gently massage the area as though it were a soft, overripe, flurry peach that you'd like to squeeze a little juice out of.

You're Thrusting your fingers as Deep inside her as you can

She's thinking: I can't feel that. How many times have you been told not to play in the deep end? Only the outer third of the vagina has many nerve endings, deeper inside there's virtually no sensation at all, so all your efforts to go deeper won't have much effect. You can, however, try to stimulate her G-spot, a bundle of nerves about four centimeters up the front wall of her vagina. It doesn't do it for all women, but try rubbing your finger over the area or pressing down on it gently. And don't be disappointed if it doesn't have the desired effect of helping her orgasm - instead, focus your attention on the first two centimeters of her vaginal canal, where she has more sensation.

You're so excited you can barely concentrate on what you're doing

She's thinking: Feel my breasts, feel my bum... feel me. In the warm up to penetrative sex and even the first few moments of it, you're very hands on - massaging her breasts, squeezing her behind and so on, but as soon as you get close to climax, your hands turn to stone. The trouble is, she's probably getting close to orgasm at this point too and needs the extra stimulation of your hands on her breasts, hips or behind. Keep touching her body throughout sex - it lets her know you're still finding it a turn on - but more importantly, it will help her reach orgasm herself.

You're using your fingers to bring her to orgasm but it doesn't seem to be working

She's thinking: Use your palm. If you're lying next to her, place your entire hand over her vulva with your fingers pointing towards her behind. Using the heel of your hand, massage her clitoris along with the surrounding skin. For some women this is the best route to orgasm. If you're lying between her legs, place your palm against her vaginal lips and massage her entire vulva with firm circular movements. When her head goes back and her back begins to arch as she thrusts towards you, you know you've got it right.

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