So you're in a band, and it's not really going anywhere. You've got big plans! You want to get out of that garage and into some choice venues. Maybe you want to pick up some cash along the way for your troubles. Or just make the journey a little more interesting. However you define success, here are 25 ways to make your garage band more successful.

Success is... getting a great place to play

1. Make a press kit. Have a few copies on hand at all times. Many bands don't have one, and honestly, it is utterly stupid not to.

2. Use the mail. Send your press kit to a few (reasonable) places you'd like to play. It's a long shot, but you never know.

3. Play for free. If it's a place you really want to play, and you know you can bring the house down, offer to play for free on a trial basis for a show or two. Making the stage owner money means you get to come back.

4. Partner up. Get another good band in a complimentary music style, and work together to book as a package. If the venue doesn't have to find a second half to the show, you've got a better shot.

5. Charity, both ways. Offer the band to a decent local charity, and let the charity set up the location. Some charities have enough pull for larger venues than you can get. They get the cash, you get the spotlight.

Success is... getting noticed

6. Have a website. You never know who's going to check it out. Be sure to have some grade-A mp3 samples of your skill.

7. Youtube. Make a video, post it to YouTube.com and Google Video. See what sticks.

8. Get representation. Hard as hell, but someone you or your band members know, knows someone, who knows someone, who knows an agent that will at least check out your press kit. With luck and a solid sound, you're in.

9. Play battles. Any sort of band competition is good for you, if you're good enough to win. If you can't, you aren't going anywhere. if you win, it's great for the press kit, at least.

10. Be original. Cover bands stay local, because the industry BUILDS the good ones themselves. Get your own material.

Success is... making money

11. Do covers. It's the opposite of the previous advice, but if you want to book some local parties, do some really good covers. Yes, you are a sellout.

12. Boost your production values. Anyone can sit on a stool and strum the guitar. Spend a little cash and get some portable gear to keep the eyes on you. Lights, effects, costumes, whatever. You're selling entertainment, not music.

13. Advertise. Yup, more spending money to make more money. If you want your band out of the garage, you have to open the door. Drop some advertisements at local indie magazines. Point them to your website and phone.

14. Be a regular. Instead of hopping around from venue to venue, try to find one that pays and offer to do a group of scheduled shows for a discount. Since the hard part is finding a place to play for cash, problem solved.

15. Plan. Put down the dope and pick up a pen. Get some sort of written agreement between your band members about who does what, and more importantly, how much everyone gets. Contracts aren't just for Republicans!

Success is... stirring things up

16. Get someone new. Add a member. Preferably someone with a little different style. Good attitude is more important than good technique. They can learn technique, but not when they entire band wants to strangle them.

17. Cut someone. Yes, its crap, but if someone is holding you back, drop them. Everyone wants to be in a band, so it should be easy to find a replacement.

18. Blow it up. Shut down the band, start a new one. You'll definitely get a different sound.

19. Change your sound. Either write different music, or have someone else write. Hell, sometimes playing your music backwards can result in something.

20. Change your life. Drop or get a girlfriend/boyfriend, move somewhere else, or join a cult. Do something worth singing about. You live for your music, right?

Success is... improving your sound

21. Voice lessons. You sing ok. Practicing will only help to a point. Get a singing coach.

22. Listen to music. Ok, so listen to some you wouldn't normally. Try to duplicate it. Then try to add it to your sound and see if you like it.

23. Improve your gear. With most amps and mikes, you get what you pay for. So stop being cheap and pick up something better on ebay.

24. Rent a studio. If you really want to know how you sound, get some time in a recording studio. It's a two-for-one, because you end up with a great, professional sounding sample cd for your press kit, too.

25. Jam with others. Most mediocre bands get to the point where there's no point in practicing, they always play the same songs the same way. Don't leave the band, but try playing with someone else for a bit. You may discover a way to improve.

So if these don't help, you're on your own. If you're having fun being a garage band, then stay a garage band. Consider yourself successful. Too many good groups ended up miserable because they made it big. And there's your moral message of the day. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.