We've all been been there - broken up and desperately seeking for an answer to find our way back to our ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend. Sometimes, however, instead of doing the "right things", we end up doing things that we can't help, which ends up decreasing our chances of getting back our ex. I know it may be a habit, just like the temptation of biting your fingernails, but whatever you do, don't do these things!

AIM

AIM has always been a popular and easy, instant way of communicating. When you were going out with your girlfriend or boyfriend, how often did you guys instant message each other - 30 minutes a day? 3 hours a day? Or did you guys just leave aim on the entire day and talked whenever.

When getting back your ex, you want to give them some space. One of the most awkward feelings is instant messaging someone saying, "Hey, I wanted to say that I love you and I hope we can talk again" only to be left seeing your own red screen name in that white box. Even if your ex saw this, or any message whether it's "Hi Babe..." or "What's up sweet cakes?" or "Answer now!", this shows them that you are still activity pursuing them back, and that's not what you want to do, for now.

Text Message

Text messaging is always cool thing because whenever you bored, you might spring up into action when you hear that text messaging sound! (I have a "light speed" sound on my Blackberry so that's what I do at least...) You and your ex might have been secretly text messaging each other while bored in class, listening to the lecture of your professor going on and on about government and politics (Trust me I've been there before and I'm about to fall asleep writing those words down). If you still are text messaging your ex, thinking that there "are" some magical words that will get them back, don't! Your missing the "big picture" here.

Call

You might be a person that talks a lot and finds a way to in put a conversation from literally anything. You might pick up the phone and see your girlfriend on boyfriend on your favorite top 5 list! You see their beautiful face and reminisce the 5 to 7 calls you would get from each other. Now you might get lucky if you get 1 to 2 calls from someone else other than your mother telling you to eat your vegetables. How you wish you can just press the speed dial button and listen to the sweet sound of your ex. Well... don't do it. Resist the temptation because doing this will screw up your chances of getting them back! Let's continue.

Letters

If you are not a technology type person, you may be into communicating by hand via poems and letters. This may be romantic... if you were still in the relationship. Letters and poems, however romantic or personal they are, is a call to action to how desperate one can go to getting someone back. You don't want to put so much effort into something when they are putting barely any effort to reading your letter, less write you back. Think about about as if you broke up with your ex, and you got a letter a week letter with hearts and teddies bears of them pouring out their feelings to you. Most ex's that read this letter most likely would just put it aside on the table and continue on with their day.

Stalk

Oh my gosh! Never do this! Stalking is weird and creepy, even if your overly obsessed with your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend. I know sometimes there are feelings that we cannot control like needing to know where your girlfriend or boyfriend is... who they are hanging out with... are these people a potential threat to taking them away from you... etc. Yes, curiosity will always be at it's highest state during this crucial time of panic. you Might go on Facebook or eve MySpace and check up every post that is written on theirs and every post that they have written to somebody else's to see if they are "currently seeing anybody."

But no matter how hard is it to control these urges, don't go out and try to see what their doing in their life. Don't try to follow their every step. Just let them be. Not only will this drive them away way further, but you will be in a endless, never ending, and inescapable route that will only get worse by the day (think Alice in Wonderland - your just being lured into something that never makes sense and the only way to get out is to wake up). So again, don't stalk your ex!

Manifest

If your in an emotional crises right now, which might involve crying on a pillow, walking back and forth down the hall, yelling to the walls, or looking at your guys' photo albums, it's best not to manifest these feelings to others. You may have feelings of depression, nostalgia, anger, and other insecurities. It's okay to spill these emotions out once and a while, but you don't need to constantly make them evident by showing or displaying these feelings to your friends! Doing this will not only drag them down during their day with your problems, but will only serve to hurt you more.

Be Idle

All the things above constitute of the big picture - learning to handle yourself first. When you get yourself handled first, everything else will come by "so" "much" "easier." Go out and do some activities to clear your mind from anything but thinking about your ex. If your just sitting home and doing nothing, chances are images and memories of your ex will start slipping in.

Plan what you're going to do with your time like going out, hanging out with some friends, and watching a movie. If you only have a few friends that are busy, go to a gym and do something where there are other people around you so you can feel that vibe like working out, running on the treadmill, and playing basketball. At first you may say that it's stupid and you can't function because even while doing this, you still think of your ex (that's how I felt...). But doing something, anything, is better than staying idle at home, and as the days pass by, doing things will get a lot easier!

Stay focused on "your" life and remember to always be active. Don't contact your ex for a while, and they'll start thinking why haven't you instant messaged them, text messaged them, called them, or written them a cute letter. You "should of" by now... right? By not doing these things, you'll be one step closer to getting them back.