The Actuality Of Arranged Weddings


by Rafi Michael - Date: 2007-05-06 - Word Count: 483 Share This!

Arranged Weddings have been a subject of curiosity for centuries. Authors across the ages have explored this matter at length, and it still surfaces in mythical works today. What's the plea? Is it the charm with the lack of lust and desire people cultivate in North American society? People strive on the constituent of risk, of the prohibited, while an arranged wedding is typically a safe way to make sure a family's consent of a merger.

As well as, many of today's romance novels pact with marriages of convenience. The heroine marries the hero because she needs him, whether for financial reasons, or because her children need a father -- there are as many reasons to marry as there are novels dealing with this matter. Yet although the marriage isn't primarily based on love, there's always that sensual tension simmering under the surface, and as readers, we know it's unavoidable that the two are going to fall deeply and irreversibly in love.

But what about actual life, where things don't always work out so well? Arranged marriages are commonplace in a number of countries, such as Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Japan and India. They're more common than you'd think even in North America, where cultural diversity is cherished and encouraged.

Juvenile people in countries where arranged marriages are commonplace are told from an early age that their spouse will be chosen for them. To deny an arranged marriage is seen as a sign of disregard toward the family. But how are suitable spouses chosen? In Japan, for instance, "when a woman reaches the marriageable age of 25, she and her parents compile a sachet of information about her, including a photograph of her in a kimono and descriptions of her family background, education, hobbies, accomplishments and interests. Generally, the most significant feature of choosing a suitable spouse is the bond between the two families, rather than the relationship between the couple being married. Property or land with the aim of securing social status sometimes seals marriage agreements.

Do arranged weddings work? Opinions tend to be different. Statistics place the divorce rate for arranged marriages much lower than those in the United States, where marriages out of love are the rule. Though, research also shows that the stress a married couple encounters from both society as a whole, and from the respective families, suggests that divorce is often not an option.

Can love grow out of an arranged marriage? Totally, and in the same way that love can grow in romance novels from a marriage of convenience. But there's more to love than finding a suitable match. Love can grow for many reasons, from lust at first sight to friendship that develops over a long period of time. It's not possible to foresee whether a union will be successful. The only two people who can make it work are the bride and groom, the hero and heroine of their own story.


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