Parenting Help for Manipulative Tantrums
First, you should understand what kind of tantrum the child is having. The tantrum can be temperamental, manipulative, or verbal frustration. A manipulative tantrum, for example, is when the child has a tantrum because he or she did not get her own way. Without much parenting help, the manipulative tantrum will go away when ignored. You may wish to move the child into another room while the tantrum plays itself out, advising the child that when the tantrum is done, he or she may rejoin the rest of the family. These "time outs" are effective even at an early age.
The child is not sophisticated enough to realize that they can throw a fit in order to get their own way. They just simply break down. However, if parenting help is ignored and mom gives in, the behavior will be reinforced and rewarded. The child will then realize, mostly subconsciously, that throwing more fits will get them more in return. It is better for mom and dad to offer an alternative than to give in to the actual request. If that doesn't calm Junior down, take a deep breath, put on some headphones, and take yourself to a happy place until he calms himself down.
Unfortunately, ignoring the tantrum is almost impossible outside the home. If at all possible, take the child back home. If you are in a situation that requires you to finish your activity before going home, take the child aside and explain why she cannot do what she wanted to do. Other people might stare and point, but unless they never had children of their own, they will be sympathetic to your plight. Again, the key is to remain in control and not to give in. If Junior has a tantrum because you're not buying him a candy bar, he will throw that same tantrum every time you are at the store if you buy him that candy bar. Don't give in, and eventually the child will learn that throwing a fit will not get him anywhere.
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