At work this afternoon I asked the questions I'm about to ask you to a few random people and I had a wide and varied range of responses. These questions were borne out of some strange experiences that I've had over the last few weeks and those experiences have generated some... 'interesting' responses from me.

But as one of my friends tells me "maybe you're the weird one Craig."

Weird Craig. I like that.

Did you know that a lot of weirdos have been incredibly successful people...apparently some weird, famous painter bloke hacked of his own ear.... And recently some weird, squillionaire, pop-star hacked of her own..... hair.

Mmmm, there's a post and a half right there. But I won't be writing it.

Okay, here are my questions:

Q1. Should we let people (other than our partner) kiss us on the lips? I don't mean in a passionate, let's-run-to-the-bedroom kind of way (we know that's not cool) ... I just mean AT ALL? 'Cause lately I've had a bunch of people who seem to be predisposed to significant lip action at the drop of a hat.... and I'm not diggin' it!

What's with that???

People who I hardly know, kissing me hello or goodbye... on the gob! (Australian for mouth). Uncalled for and occasionally, creepy. Invariably they have skinny, cold, fish lips.... and bad breath.

Why do they think I want that?

Not cool.

Q2. If the answer to Q.1 is yes, then what are the guidelines? Who can partake of the lip-kiss...family, friends?... and for how long?... half a second, five seconds? And when does is become creepy and uncomfortable? Is there a book on this? Maybe I've got issues... but I'm not sure about people who kiss everyone on the lips.

Q3. Men greeting each other with a kiss? Now I know it varies from culture to culture, but what about in say.... Australia, Canada, the States, England? I know that I can (shock, horror) periodically err on the side of Alpha-Male-ness... but I typically pride myself on my emotional maturity and development(!). But I gotta say, I'm not (personally) a big fan of the male kiss.... the whole whisker on whisker thing doesn't do it for me. I know it's common place in Europe... but does that mean little old Aussie Craig has to embrace it?

Perhaps I should. Or not.

Q4. Men Hugging? Personally, I'm a big fan of the man hug.

I mean the real deal, I-love-you-and-you're-ace bear hug (not your gentle, affectionate, caressing kind of thing). Unfortunately, not too many of my buddies share my tactile enthusiasm.

Johnnie will hate me writing this (but I don't care 'cause by the time he reads this it will be published on the site)... but he HATES being hugged. He's got issues for sure. Big ones. (Because I obviously have none).

When I try and hug him, he threatens me with violence.... which makes me want to hug him more. Sometimes I chase him around the gym (for real).

I think deep down he's playing hard to get.

Or not.

Q5. Corporate kissing? Okay... I have lots of business meetings with lots of people. Often with women. When I meet with a female business acquaintance (who I know, but maybe haven't seen for a while) should I kiss her on the cheek or shake her hand?

Girls confuse me; some kiss, some shake. Some do nothing; they nod (what's with nodding?).

Some hug and kiss. I'm so confused. As I said, I asked these questions earlier today and I learned nothing. Everyone told me something different.

Clearly, I have much to learn. Maybe you can me help out.

I would love your input and thoughts... and by the way, feel free to comment on other people's comments and thoughts as well as my post.... and tell Johnnie to let me hug him.

And tell the creepy woman with the thin lips to leave me alone.