Bulletin Bloopers
1. Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help.
2. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
3. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
4. We are pleased to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
5. Thursday at 5 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.
6. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
7. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
8. Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
9. The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
10. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
11. The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
12. The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
13. Evening Massage-6 p.m.
14. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
15. The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
16. Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.
17. Ushers will eat latecomers.
18. The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
19. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
20. The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
21. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
22. During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
23. Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
24. Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
25. Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"
26. The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
27. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
28. The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
29. 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, "The Lord Knows Why."
30. A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
31. Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.
32. Hymn 43: "Great God, What Do I See Here?" Preacher: The Rev. Horace Blodgett Hymn 47: "Hark! an Awful Voice is Sounding"
33. On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD Dr. Hargreaves is better.
34. Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.
35. The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
36. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
37. The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
38. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.
Related Tags: parents, worry, bloopers, pastor
Your Article Search Directory : Find in Articles
Recent articles in this category:
- How to Book a Comedian
If you are going to book a professional comedian for a corporate event or holiday party there are s - Nine Tips for a Successful Corporate Comedy Event
Here are some things to help you book a comic for your corporate event or holiday party. There are - Yo Mama Jokes History
Not many categories of jokes have a history or background. We don't know who started them or why th - Gag Surprises to Expect When You Turn 50
When we reach 20 we are excited that we are one step closer to be given the responsibility and lega - Bond Must Die, Spy Surveillance Gadgets Bond Villains Need to Get
So Bond bounded back this week in the new Quantum Solace movie with a villain which many are callin - Here Come the Jokes and Criticism Against Barack Obama
It is very exciting when we get to see history unfold before our eyes. Many people in our past gene - Entertainment, A List of the Most Popular Magic Tricks
If you are interested in performing magic tricks, you should be open to the different options in - Is Asa of the Bible the Same as Asaph?
This is a new series (1-7) of Verse No. in the Bible versus the Quran. Verse No. 7 in the Old Test - Sand Up Comedy for Stress Relief
In today's fast paced life style many people are dealing with more stress than ever. Factor in the - See Top Stand Up Comedians on the New Online Comedy Club
See Top Stand Up Comedians On The New Online Comedy Club. Many small towns and mid sized cities no
Most viewed articles in this category:
- In Your Office, How Many Bosses are Too Many?
So, once I was asked to design stationary for a company that had the misfortune of hiring a smart as - The Hidden Diary of Bin Laden and God
Bin Laden died, and God stood in front of him, he said,"Allah, the most High," and Bin said, "Sir, i - Do Dead People Really Talk?
I was talking to my dear Mother the other day and she was telling me how grand the famed psychic, co - Trivia Questions And Answers From A Trivia Break
Questions: 1. What is the primary language of most residents of Montreal? A. English B. French C. C - Google Salutes Chick-fil-A Cows
The Search Engine Giant, known for decorating its Google moniker with appropriately festive gear on - Black Friday
Another Thanksgiving meal devoured and here I sit with a back that is thrown out. I would love to b - U. S. May Become Nonaligned Nation; Cites Worldwide Ingratitude
In case you haven't heard, there is a brash new movement afoot to make America a nonaligned nation. - Everything I Know I Learned From Magazines
Hello friends. Do you ever wonder why there is never enough time or money to do the things you know - Extensive New Study Fits Americans Like A Tee
Remember when your mother always reminded you to put on a clean pair of underwear just in case?Resea - 15 Exciting and Crazy Things To Do After You Quit Smoking
Are you a smoker who spends at least $ 3.50 for a pack every day or $1,277.50 a year?

