10 Sex Drive Killers Article 1 Of 2


by jamie2323 - Date: 2007-05-05 - Word Count: 875 Share This!

If you're experiencing a decrease in libido, your are not alone. For most people your sex drive is like a roller coaster -- one minute it's up, the next it's down. A drop or decrease in sex drive is usually caused by changes in lifestyle or is a side effect of taking certain medication. Here, we've compiled a list of the most common reasons (and remedies) for your sex drive's decline. You may even be able to correct the situation with a few simple lifestyle changes.

Sex Drive VS Sexual Arousal

There's a big difference between sexual desire and physical arousal: desire (or libido) refers to your interest in sex, while arousal refers to your body's physical response, such as vaginal lubricant or the ability to have an erection. People with higher libidos often experience an easier time getting aroused; while, conversely, if your sex drive has gone down, you may have a more difficult time with some of the physical aspects of arousal. By increasing your sex drive, your body should respond with an increase in arousal. If it does not, speak to your health care provider.
1. Life

As we take on more adult responsibilities, the strong desire for sex we experienced in our youth often takes a huge nosedive. Between work, kids, friendships, school, hobbies, volunteer work, homemaking and exercise, there just doesn't seem to be time for sex. When we do get a minute of free time, often the last thing we want to do is spend it in an amorous cuddle. Watching TV, reading a good book or stealing a few extra minutes of sleep can seem so much more gratifying. It's not that we don't want to have sex, it has just become a low priority. Sex is an important part of an adult relationship. Just as we need to make time for ourselves, we also need to make time for our partners. Scheduling sex into your calendar may make you giggle, but if that's what it takes -- do it! Designate a night or two a week to spend quality romantic time with your partner. Make a game of it: take turns bringing something new to the bedroom, such as a sex toys, illustrated book, adult dvds or technique. By planning ahead, you're making a commitment to yourself, your partner and the relationship, a commitment you'll keep -- just as you'd keep a meeting you scheduled with your best friend, your child's teacher or a business associate.

2. Stress, Fear & Anxiety

When we're experiencing stress, fear or anxiety, sex is usually the last thing on our minds. Work dilemmas, relationship woes, family issues and money problems can be devastating to our libidos: it's hard to feel sexy when you're worried about the mortgage payment. Fear and anxiety associated with sex itself can also be problematic. We often worry about everything from STDs to fear of pregnancy to sexual performance, all the while dampening our sex drives and hampering our chances to have a satisfying sexual experience.

The first step to putting stress, fear and anxiety in their places is ensuring your body is healthy. Eat a balanced diet, drink plenty of water, sleep at least eight hours a night, exercise regularly and practice relaxation techniques such as meditation or yoga. If you won't do it for your general health, do it for your sex life! You should also strengthen your mind: spend time doing things that are good for you, such as reading, talking to your friends, kids and partner, and writing in a journal. With a healthy body and mind, you're much better equipped to keep your problems from intruding in the bedroom. If you've tried these techniques and still feel that anxiety and fear are damaging your libido, it may be time to see a professional. If you are comfortable with the idea, try talking to a sex therapist. Otherwise a psychologist, life coach or marriage counselor can help you feel better and enjoy sex more.
3. Boredom

Although many people's relationship goals include settling down in a monogamous relationship, familiarity can be a big sex drive killer. After twenty years together, it's perfectly normal to feel bored or uninspired by your mate. By that time, you've pretty much done it all ... and have ruled out or forgotten about anything else you haven't tried. Even couples who have been dating for only a few months can get into a sexual rut: after the first flush of puppy love has worn off, many people find themselves having missionary position sex on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays - not that there's anything wrong with that schedule, but a little spontaneity never hurt anyone!

Get back to your sexual roots. Forget about everything you like and don't like and try to view sex as an entirely new experience. Talk to your partner about things you'd like to try in bed -- it could be that you just need to introduce something new to your sex life. Buy some sex toys and use them together. Watch a sexy video together and try to emulate the actors. Read or look through some illustrated sex guides. You might feel some initial embarrassment as you and your partner try new experiences together, but if you both keep open minds, you'll soon find yourself having the time of your lives.

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