Moving Beyond "Why" and Creating New Outcomes
Indulging in why questions has positive aspects. It allows a person to uncover the physiological, biological, social, emotional, and spiritual reasons of why a disordered eating pattern exists. Letting ourselves answer, "Why?" validates of our life story, gives presence to what had not been previously spoken or written, and provides meaning to our journey. We cannot change what we cannot understand. Having the answers to "Why?" helps make some sense out of the situation. It begins the process of moving from a state of victim-hood to one of self-responsibility.
"Why" Limitations Asking, "Why?" also has its limitations. The problem with, "Why?" questions is that they generally do nothing to solve the problem. Having all the answers does not actually move us toward creating a new outcome. For example, you can ask why you keep overeating and with some willingness to know your reasons, your mind will provide some of the correct answers. Given enough time, introspection, self-help books, and guidance, your intellect can eventually piece together the entire puzzle of why something happened.
Then what? You will have a fuller understanding of your situation. Are you any better off? Well, partly. Understanding why you are the way you are allows your mind to feel satisfied, having helped solve the mystery. It also allows you to forgive yourself. You realize that your struggle had purpose and meaning at the core of it. However, asking "Why?" alone is simply not enough to allow you to change your life. Great information to have. Not enough to create change.
Empowering Questions It also helps to ask empowering questions along the way. Questions that create a vision of where you are going and provide movement forward in that direction. Questions that help you stay centered in reality. Getting a crisp, clear picture of what you're wanting in addition to understanding the "Why?" of your situation is how to solve the problem and create a fulfilling life. Since your mind will try to answer any question you put to it, the kind of question you ask makes a big difference. Ask what you really want to know: "How could I love myself more?" "How can I create more self-esteem?" "What could I do to accelerated the process of self-acceptance?" Or, "What one step can I take to make things a little better?" How about this question: "How can I make this a positive, fun experience?" Let your mind go wild on one of those questions.
Questions That Create Change
1. What do I want?
What will that do for me?
What's important to me about that?
2. What would I do if I were compassionate and wise?
How would I do it?
When, where, what, with whom do I want it?
3. How will I know when I have what I want?
What feeling would I have inside?
If I didn't have it, what would be missing?
What about that would be important?
4. What's preventing me from having it?
How do I know that?
What will happen if I get what you want?
What does having it do for me? Better than what?
How will this impact significant others?
5. If I get what I want, what do I risk losing?
If I get what I want, what do I risk gaining?
6. What do I get out of what I do now?
Related Tags: success, change, motivation, weight, eating, create, spirit, emotional, emotion, overeating, empower, outcomes
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Helping people let go of self-destructive thoughts, emotions, and behaviors has been the life work of Dr. Annette Colby. Her fascination with the power of the mind, emotions, spirituality, and physicality has led her to become a leader in the field of personal growth and consciousness. She is a valued counselor, and an inspiring teacher, as well as an independent writer, mentor, and guide. She is a highly sought-after trainer with a unique ability to inform and inspire individuals to open their hearts, love more openly, and pursue their dreams.
Dr. Annette Colby, RD Nutrition Therapist & Master Energy Therapist
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