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Holistic Intentions vs New Year's Resolutions

Are the same resolutions popping up on your list year after year, never quite met? As we move further into the month of December, in full swing of the activities leading up to December 31, it is helpful to set our intentions for the New Year. I like to use the word intention rather than resolution; I feel as though more flexibility is denoted in my thinking when I set an intention.

The word intention is defined as an aim or objective, or something that somebody plans to do or achieve. The word resolution seems rigid and inflexible to me; resolution is defined as determination - a firmness of mind or purpose. Now, when we think of our goal as an aim or objective, doesn't that sound more flexible?

The key is to be flexible and let the intention go. One needs to define it, set it up to happen, eliminate what stands in the way, think about ways to get around the obstacles, make a note of the action steps needed, and then just release our hold on the outcome. I know that when I used to make lists of resolutions, there were many that kept finding their way back to the list, year after year. Last year I created my list differently. I looked at my whole life including my work, my relationships, my finances, my environment, and my self care. Most areas were looking pretty good, except for the area of leisure and fun.

One big intention was to take a vacation to California with my husband and two adult daughters. Year after year, this kept finding its way back to my list. It was clear to me what needed to be done. I decided that in order to feel really balanced and have fun, I wanted to be a person who takes vacations. That intention was simple and definitely an aim for me.

I listed all the obstacles I felt were in my way, and then the possible solutions. Next I listed the action steps. My obstacles included not feeling as though I had the money and not feeling comfortable being out of the area and away from my elderly parents. I felt I could not get my house neat enough to have someone come in to take care of my rabbit and bring in the mail. I was concerned I did not having the right clothes, and the obstacles went on and on.

I was quite serious about my intention to be a person who takes a vacation, though, and continued to think about the possible solutions to turn the obstacles around. I have to admit that I also regularly stated the affirmation, "I am a person who takes a vacation." One of my first action steps was to make a commitment. I encouraged my daughter to help with the plans; she did the research and came up with the itinerary. My husband, daughters, and I all agreed on a date.

Next came several action steps which included fixing my home so that I felt good about my neighbors coming in to feed my rabbit, and placing deposits on hotels. I also asked my sister to stay with my parents in order to give me peace of mind about them. Many things fell into place. Money even became less of an issue because my daughters had enough frequent flyer miles for three round trip tickets. I could no longer resist! Hooray, I am a person who takes vacations!

What are the steps you can take to facilitate the success of your List of Resolutions, or as I propose to call it, the List of Intentions? What is one thing you need to adjust to allow what you want to come in to your life? What are all the different ways to think about little changes to put into place in order to have the item happen? Possibly due to my role as a caregiver this simple goal of taking a vacation seemed insurmountable, but by working through the obstacles and determining possible solutions I was able to come up with action steps that brought me to a fantastic outcome!

What is your intention?

Lorraine Calhoun, Act 2 Consulting, specializes in holistic personal coaching to help women to go from chaos to calm even in the midst of the inevitable stress that shows up in midlife. She can be reached at lorraine@act2consulting.com or 215-794-8606. To get started feeling less stress right away, look up Lorraine's complimentary E-book, 7 Steps To Go From Frazzled To Fabulous, at http://www.act2consulting.com/modules/smartpartner/partner.php?id=10.