It's taken a long time but I finally caught myself doing what everyone else does when a cerebral aneurysm ruptures and turns his or her life upside down. What I, and probably everyone else that survived the brain trauma, did was take advantage of the caregiver that was bending over backwards to help me make it to the next day.

It's very easy to get rapped up in self-importance and become over bearing and demanding.

This is how it sort of plays out.

The First six months after the cerebral aneurysm-rupturing incident. The caregiver, my wife in my case, spends endless, and what appears to be tireless, hours seeing to the victims needs.

1. Washing. (Personal Hygiene's)

2. Feeding

3. Physical Therapy

o Sitting up

o Walking

o Exercising

4. Endless Trips to the doctors

o More Trips To the Doctors

5. Mental Therapy

o Who Are You?

o Where Do You Live?

o Do You Know Your Children's Names?

A NOTE: I should point out that there are those that fail miserably as care givers. Some even think that it is not their responsibility. I know of one case that the husband of the victim simply turned his back on his wife. She is now a hopeless mental cripple. The man needs a good sound thrashing with a very big stick; but that's another story.

My point here is that a victim of a ruptured cerebral brain aneurysm needs support and understanding if they are to gain even a small sense of independence. However, they must not expect the caregiver to set their life aside forever. That is very selfish on the patient's side of the recovery process.

The list of burdens that the person, that has set their freedoms aside, has to deal with can go on for a very long time. Most of the caregivers just shrug it off and accept their new task; some don't, but the vast majority does.

The problem that pops up after a few years, and sometimes only a few months, is that it appears to the victim (patient) that the person that really cares for the victim has stopped caring about anything but their own world. We, the victims of the ruptured brain aneurysm, have become self centered and over bearing and cannot comprehend what is happening.

The caregiver no longer drops everything and run to give aid. What is actually happening is that some of the load is shifting to the patient.

We do not really understand that this person that is giving everything has a life too. After all, we are the ones that got knocked on our collective butts. We are the ones that have been devastated by the unforgiving brain trauma.

Why must we suffer alone? Our thoughts go into a tailspin and self-pity sets in and takes over our thoughts.

What is actually happening is that the healing process is shifting from total dependence on someone to do everything for us to learning how to handle the everyday chores ourselves. It doesn't sound like a big deal but stop and think about it for a minute.

A patient must learn a whole new world of things to do. It's not fair to either the patient or the caregiver to expect the caregiver to give up their life so they can serve the patient like the slaves of old used to do.

We, the victims of a ruptured cerebral aneurysm, must do our very best to regain as much of our lives back as we can. Knowing that you are in control of your life is a great feeling. However, sometimes it is easy to forget that we must know how to take care of ourselves.