One of the most difficult and uncomfortable parts of the home buying experience is when are clients and prospects make an objection or a statement that implies something is less then perfect. The toughest parts of objections are that they always seem to catch us off guard. It always seems as though everything is going well, and out of nowhere we get blindsided by a particular negative sounding comment that knocks the wind out of us.

When moments like this come up, do you ever feel like your brain freezes up and you cannot think of anything to say? Then it gets somewhat awkward and uncomfortable when in your moment of having a brain freeze, there is a moment of silence. As you scramble to think of something clever to say to react to their comment, your demeanor is now more shaky and less confidant which in turn is less believable. All of the sudden your control and the momentum that you built throughout the process have come to a screeching halt. This is not a good feeling, but I have good news for you, it isn't your entire fault that overcoming objections is one of the hardest things to do.

The reason is because handling objections require a skill that isn't readily taught in schools or in training classes. That skill is listening.

Think about it. When you were in your formative years and developing your reading and writing skills in school, did you ever take a listening class?

It's funny; statistics show that we spend about 80% of every day listening, yet we have never been properly trained to do so effectively.

Dr Stephen Covey has been quoted as saying, "seek first to understand, before being understood." What he is essentially saying is that before we can help someone and find a solution to their needs, we need to understand their real wants. Think about your doctor, one of the very first questions they ask is, "how are you feeling?" or "where is the pain? "What does it feel like?" These questions are used to determine what your symptoms are so that a proper remedy or diagnoses can be made. Your doctor can take the answers to these questions, then determine which tests need to be taken to get more answers.

This is the same principal that should be used when trying to help your client find the home that they need.

Studies show that listening takes place in several different ways. If you thought the previous statistics were startling, wait till you read these.

Listening within the numbers

7% of listening is done through verbal communication.

38% of listening is done through tone of voice.

55% of listening is done through body language.

At first glance, these numbers are difficult to comprehend. After all, how can verbal speaking only account for 7% of how we gain understanding during communication? When you really stop and think about though, these numbers make perfect sense.

Have you ever been speaking with someone, perhaps a spouse or a significant other, and not really been interested in what they were saying. Did you make less eye contact and just give short answers like "okay" or "uh-huh"? Perhaps you were distracted by the television and you just nodded. What kind of message do you think you were relaying to that person? Do you think they felt neglected or that they were not very important to you?

In the business of real estate, this happens very frequently as well. Think about a time where you asked your potential home buyer a question about what they are looking for or what kind of needs they require in a new home. When they began to answer, were you listening to each word in eager anticipation or were you waiting to speak again? If you were waiting to speak, you may have just missed the key detail that would have propelled you into making the sale.

Ineffective listening is one of the most frequent reasons for mistakes, misunderstandings and losing current clients. The inability to effectively listen sends the message that your client is not that important to you.