Real World Dating Advice For Men - How To Handle Your Insecurities Around Women
- Date: 2010-10-15 - Word Count: 605
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Feeling insecure around a woman is something that ALL men can kind of share in. Whether or not we speak about it openly, the truth is that to some extent- we all have those moments when we feel a little insecure.
Maybe you have just started to date a woman and there is a part of you that is afraid that you might lose her.
Maybe you have your eyes on a woman and you think that she might like you, but... you really are not sure.
Insecurity is something that we all have to learn how to handle, and if we don't... then we are doomed to make mistakes in relationships, in dating, and in hooking up.
So, how can you handle your insecurities around women?
1. Realize that most of the time, it's a head trip and nothing more.
Most of what causes us to be insecure is just something that we build up in our minds. For example, we might build up this idea that only guys with chiseled 6 packs get the girls, and if you look down and see anything less than a 6 pack staring back at you, you are going to start to feel insecure. You need to be able to reprogram your mind so that you don't let these things bog you down.
Getting in control of your mind and not allowing it to breed insecurities is not only beneficial to your dating success, but in all other areas as well. If you don't have the mind game nailed down, then that is something I highly suggest you work on RIGHT now.
2. Anchor positive experiences in your mind and body, so that you can recall them at will and change how you feel.
Almost every guy has had some positive experiences with women. You know those moments that make you feel kind of giddy, or they make you feel like you are on top of the world? Those are the experiences that you need to anchor in your mind and your body so that you can pull them up when needed and kind of remind yourself that you CAN be successful with women.
I'll give you a personal example of mine from when I first started to get this area of my life handled:
When I was about 17, I met and dated a girl from another high school that was totally out of my league. In her school, she was the "it" girl, the one that every guy wanted to get with. And she dated me! Now, when I was a little older, maybe 3 or 4 years later and I really wanted to handle this part of my life, I would just recall what it felt like to be dating the "it" girl. In a flash, all of the nerves would calm down and the insecurities would vanish.
3. Remind yourself that rejection is just par for the course.
Why do I want you to remind yourself that rejection is a part of the game? Because almost all insecurities come from the fear of being rejected. If you are insecure about public speaking, it's because you are afraid that you will make a fool of yourself and the audience will "reject" you. The same is true when it comes to dating and meeting women.
If you are insecure around women, most likely you have some deep fears about getting rejected by women. Part of this is natural and part of it comes from the desire to want to be "perfect." You can't be perfect, and you have to know that sometimes.. well, even the guys that seem to have it all will get rejected from time to time.
Maybe you have just started to date a woman and there is a part of you that is afraid that you might lose her.
Maybe you have your eyes on a woman and you think that she might like you, but... you really are not sure.
Insecurity is something that we all have to learn how to handle, and if we don't... then we are doomed to make mistakes in relationships, in dating, and in hooking up.
So, how can you handle your insecurities around women?
1. Realize that most of the time, it's a head trip and nothing more.
Most of what causes us to be insecure is just something that we build up in our minds. For example, we might build up this idea that only guys with chiseled 6 packs get the girls, and if you look down and see anything less than a 6 pack staring back at you, you are going to start to feel insecure. You need to be able to reprogram your mind so that you don't let these things bog you down.
Getting in control of your mind and not allowing it to breed insecurities is not only beneficial to your dating success, but in all other areas as well. If you don't have the mind game nailed down, then that is something I highly suggest you work on RIGHT now.
2. Anchor positive experiences in your mind and body, so that you can recall them at will and change how you feel.
Almost every guy has had some positive experiences with women. You know those moments that make you feel kind of giddy, or they make you feel like you are on top of the world? Those are the experiences that you need to anchor in your mind and your body so that you can pull them up when needed and kind of remind yourself that you CAN be successful with women.
I'll give you a personal example of mine from when I first started to get this area of my life handled:
When I was about 17, I met and dated a girl from another high school that was totally out of my league. In her school, she was the "it" girl, the one that every guy wanted to get with. And she dated me! Now, when I was a little older, maybe 3 or 4 years later and I really wanted to handle this part of my life, I would just recall what it felt like to be dating the "it" girl. In a flash, all of the nerves would calm down and the insecurities would vanish.
3. Remind yourself that rejection is just par for the course.
Why do I want you to remind yourself that rejection is a part of the game? Because almost all insecurities come from the fear of being rejected. If you are insecure about public speaking, it's because you are afraid that you will make a fool of yourself and the audience will "reject" you. The same is true when it comes to dating and meeting women.
If you are insecure around women, most likely you have some deep fears about getting rejected by women. Part of this is natural and part of it comes from the desire to want to be "perfect." You can't be perfect, and you have to know that sometimes.. well, even the guys that seem to have it all will get rejected from time to time.
Related Tags: how to handle insecurities around women, insecure around women, dating advice men, rejected by women
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