Warm With a Chance of Political Precipitation
Increased Northern Migration: The real reason the US has trouble with her neighbors form the south is not drugs but because of the weather patterns called, El Niño, which roughly translated means: "too hot down here." As most Americans move to cooler cities like Fairbanks, Barrow and Skagway, Carnival will replace normally scheduled ice sculpture festivals.
Free sheep. These ungulates will no longer be needed for their wool. Nor will mink, seal, beaver and otter be hunted into extinction for their pelts. To take care of any lingering inhabitants of such farms, look for recipes that incorporate low-fat mammal meals. Prediction: Greek restaurant openings will dramatically rise in the next three centuries.
More diseases. Failure to wash your hands will become a felony. Warmer weather brings more diseases. Remember the Panama Canal fiasco? No one will be allowed to touch anybody unless the intended touchee signs a medical waiver or prenup issued by the toucher's attorney. The good news: double dipping will only be a misdemeanor.
Prepare for conversation. Yogi Berra was once complimented: "Hey man, you're really cool." Mr. Berra smiled. "Thanks lady," he replied. "You don't look so hot yourself." Your comments should always inspire and not offend.
Related Tags: entertainment, humor, global warming, climate change, effects
Bernadette Sukley is a freelance writer with an eye towards the quirky. Her work has appeared in Sports Illustrated for Women, ABROAD and Prevention.com Love the unique? She does too. Contact: novelist2be@excite.com and http://thequirkywriter.blogspot.com/
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