10 Keys to Children's High Self-esteem
Numerous studies support this notion. For instance, a longitudinal study by The London School of Economics Centre for Economic Performance followed the fortunes of all babies born in a particular week in Britain. There was clear evidence that children with a higher self-esteem at the age of 10 got more kick to their earning power later in life than those with higher maths, reading and other academic abilities.
The study found that 'high self-esteemers' had less chance of being unemployed later in life and if they were, they would soon be back in the workforce.
Parents and teachers intuitively know that feelings of self-worth and positive self-esteem are important. But what is self-esteem and how do you know if your child has healthy self-esteem or not?
Self-esteem is a healthy and optimistic view of one's value. If a child evaluates him or herself positively and realistically rather than negatively and unrealistically then it is usually deemed that they have healthy self-esteem.
Most of the research available tells us that children with healthy self-esteem do the following:
1. Take reasonable risks. They will try new tasks even if success is not assured.
2. Display favourable attitudes to others. Children with healthy self-esteem don't need to put others down to feel competent. They get a kick out of others performing well and are not threatened by the success of siblings or friends.
3. Generally behave well. Children with healthy self-esteem generally believe 'I am okay as I am.' They do not have to find their place in their family or in groups through misbehaviour.
4. Highlight their own strengths, successes and skills. Healthy self-esteemers neither put themselves down when they do well nor do they exaggerate their own skills or successes to gain a sense of superiority. They tend to make realistic appraisals of their abilities.
5. Downplay and accept mistakes, failure and imperfections. They don't dwell on mistakes or failure. They seem to understand that mistakes are part of the learning process. They are annoying and hindrance but they don't necessarily prevent them from trying again.
6. Are willing to try and show initiative. Conversely, children with low self-esteem give up easily or show little confidence in areas that are new.
7. Acknowledge their own contributions to success. They take realistic credit for their successes without be boastful or saying that any achievement happened due to luck or good fortune.
8. Compare themselves to similar children or young people, not glossy images. It is natural and healthy to compare yourself to others but the choice of yardstick is critical. Children and young people with low self-esteem tend to use unrealistic figures as yardsticks for success. While we often encourage kids to aim high, kids with low self-esteem are easily put of by failure so the choice of role model is critical.
9. Have a positive outlook and use positive language. Take note of the language a child or young person uses. Healthy self-esteemers know how to positive track or reframe negative situations into positives and low self-esteemers so problems rather than challenges.
10. Believe that personal limitations can be worked on. Children with healthy self-esteem know that success is linked with effort. That is, hard work is no guarantee of success but it certainly increases its likelihood.
In the past it was thought that we could enhance self-esteem by simply making a child feel good about themselves. This is too simplistic indeed.
The building blocks of self-esteem are multi-dimensional and include the following four aspects:
• positive parent, family and teacher interactions and expectations
• positive peer interactions
• coping skills and,
• successes that demonstrate competence and mastery.
Parents and teachers need a range of skills and strategies to help children develop a healthy self-esteem and maintain it even when events conspire to really challenge them.
Self-esteem building is important as the way a child perceives him or herself is far more important in determining future outcomes than pure ability and academic competence.
Related Tags: children, self-confidence, discipline, self-esteem, confidence, encouragement, positive parenting
Michael Grose is a popular parenting educator and parent coach. He is the director of Parentingideas, the author of seven books for parents and a popular presenter who speaks to audiences in Australia, Singapore and the USA. For free courses and resources to help you raise happy kids and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au
Your Article Search Directory : Find in ArticlesRecent articles in this category:
- Top Riding Toys For 201
Children love the excitement and adventure that can be found by cruising on their own ride on toy. W - Picking the Best Size Bike For Your Child
Bicycling can be a great way for your child to get a little extra exercise. Learning to ride a bike - How to Help Your Kids Through Difficult Events
Even as a child or adolescent we may face challenging times when things seem to be crashing down aro - How to Make Your Home Safe For a Young Child
New parents often spend weeks preparing their home for the arrival of their new baby. While there is - 4 Things to Know Before You Buy a Diaper Bag
Some things to keep in mind before you purchase the diaper bag are the following: material, the cost - Exciting Food Suggestions For Kids
Making kids eat healthy food is a big task every mother goes through. With kids pre-occupied with pl - Add Modern Touches to Your Toddler's Room With Modern Toddler Bedding
Decorating a child's room presents parents with several different challenges simultaneously: Choosin - When Should You Be Concerned About Your Baby's Health?
Your baby's health is one of the most important and delicate things that you have to keep abreast of - Having a Happy and Healthy Baby With the Benefits of Baby Massage
Mothers have known for centuries the benefits of baby massage, the world over. In many Asian countri - Diaper Bags And Their Uses
Parents usually need to take diaper bags along with them if they out on a trip. Especially, if the b
Most viewed articles in this category:
- The Perfect Parent...Who Are We Kidding?
I get the feeling that there are a lot of moms and dads out there that feel they're not measuring up - Partial Breastfeeding - Should I Even Bother?
For some women, feeding a baby with breastmilk alone is not possible. The reasons for this vary. For - Skateboarding In The Eighties To The Present
Skateboarding traces its roots to the seventies but it really reached the peak of its popularity in - How Breastfeeding Benefits A Daddy
You know that breastfeeding is best for mother and child, but what's in it for Dad? Isn't he going t - Child-Appropriate Costumes: Violence, Sexuality, And Insensitivity
So your daughter wants to be Wonder Woman for Hallowe'en, or your son wants to be Batman. They're bo - The Evolution Of Vitamin B5 For Acne
I came across the benefits of Vitamin B5 6 years ago whilst searching for an acne treatment that act - Depression And Teens - Six Signs That Your Child May Be Suffering From Depression
Most people are now aware of the seriousness of depression. This has become much more common and mor - Parenting Teenager - Take Time For Your Teen!
BookWire's "Year in Reviews Magazine," December 2006 issue, lists a review of my book "Help Me With - Why It's Important To Follow A Healthy Diet When Pregnant
Pregnancy is one of the most physically enduring times in our lives, and it is more important than e - Sleep Separation And Your Child
It seems harmless enough, lying down with your child while he goes to sleep, but it could be that sl