Red in the Face Social Anxiety Self Help, Ideas and Tips


by Nick Moseley - Date: 2007-01-23 - Word Count: 995 Share This!

What you do to help your red face problem depends to a large extent on how often you get the red face problem and if it is related to specific situations.

So for starters lets try to determine:

Why there is this red face problem & what causes itWhat therapy, help, advice & counseling resources you have to handDo some frank self analysis and self brainstorming. Write down your thoughts. For example:

Is it related to specific situations, locations or people in your life.Does it happen every time when you hit that trigger point?Has it always been a problem or did it start at a certain age?Would you consider yourself naturally shy?Do you have a lot of friends and/or find making friends easy or hardAre you in a relationship? IIf yes are you happy?If no do you feel stuck in there as you don't think you could find another?Talking of which do you find it very hard to approach people you find sexually attractive? Your resources

"Traditional" - Medical Is your regular doctor any "good" - by that I mean is the sort who consults as opposed to looking at you as a car to be fixed with a good service and oil change! If they're a car mechanic type then I'd advise a specialist therapist. If your doc is the good type then that might be a great place to start.

If not, or if you feel you need a specialist start with your local Yellow pages or Internet guides. Look for:

Psychological "self help"TherapistsHypnotherapistsDermatologists Check them out online or email or call them to ask if they can help with situations where people go red in the face as if very embarrassed. If they're good they should know where you're coming from and give a good answer as you how they can help.

Next - Social therapy - Self Help

The philosophy here is to cure the problem by facing the demon down and beating it. The best defense is a good offence etc! Some ideas on places to go and groups to join -

Theatre groupsDating clubs/speed dating eventsDebating societies"hobby" or sports clubs for activities you likeReading circles and groups...Other - see Case studies Self Help Case Studies and Examples and Ideas

Basically what you need to do is counter the reason or trigger for the red face problem.

Negate or divert the reason for going red and you won't. Simple to say, harder to do - So here are some examples, case studies and ideas.

As this is different so is the treatment - hence the diverse range of resources above

My own life example - Negating/Diverting the trigger

I faced the red face demon down - I deliberately threw myself into uncomfortable situations like speaking roles at meetings or presentations but I prepared before by being VERY sure of my information or presentation material so that I felt very confident in what I was doing.

This self confidence booster I found helped alleviate the problem as I'd get so into the subject that I'd forget that I was meant to be getting embarrassed and going red!

Lesson - Be great at what you do and your confidence goes sky high. Trigger busted.

Self help ideas

You may not have opportunities at work to do what I did. If not don't worry, there are plenty of ways to find a demon to face down!

Join public speaking group or theatre/drama groupOr any club that gets involved in public events - They always needs people to speak to groups - and nobody ever wants to! (just because some people don't go red it doesn't mean they like public speaking, in fact the fact is that the majority f people are terrified of it.

Get good at public speaking and you're not only curing your red face problem but giving your work and career a huge boost at the same time.

Quick public speaking tip -

Choose three points slightly above peoples heads when you speak in a large forum one to the left, one to the right and one in the middle. You can always start your speeches by saying geez just standing here makes me red in the face.

Pretend to be Darth Vader! (or similar)

Whenever you walk into a public place or event hum (in your head) the DARTH VADER theme.

Case study report - After a while i noticed that when i did that, i stood taller and walked and spoke with far more confidence than ever before. In fact someone once said i walked into their store like i owned the place. Try it!

PS - Don't overdo it eh! I take no responsilbility for the consequences of you dressing up as DV and going after people with pretend light sabres. Keep it in your mind and quiet!

Disguise!

One thing I did do that worked to a degree - and take great care here as it could backfire badly - was use spot blemish cover up that closely matched by complexion (i.e., guys make up) or even women's foundation.

When carefully done this can take the edge off the redness "glow" and helps break you out of the circle as you know inside yourself that while you've gone red it doesn't look as bad - the result was that the circle spiraled down in intensity and frequency.

As I say though take GREAT care with this approach as if you slap the stuff on people will notice and that would be kind of bad news! Or if it's a sweaty environment and you're prone to sweat then take great care with it as you could get trickle tracks - to be avoided!

At the end of the day I'd sum it up by saying there are 3 ways to start soling the problem:

Professional therapy or medical helpSelf helpA combination. There is no "solve all" best way and it depends on your situation. In my own case self help did the job. In yours maybe that will too. If out on the spot I'd say try self help first and then graduate to professionals if it doesn't work or isn't working well enough.

I hope this gives you some ideas on what to do. Comments appreciated as ever.


Related Tags: social anxiety, shyness, shy, red face, facial redness, embarrassment, bright red, embarrassed

Nick Moseley runs Anxietystopped.com a free anxiety and panic problem information site dedicated to helping people understand the causes, symptoms and treatments available for anxiety and panic attacks & disorders and social anxiety - which is a distinct form of anxiety that many more people suffer from to one degree or another than you would believe, unless you've experienced it...which you may well have done!

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