Famously known for the 'mid-life crisis', this stage is often like hell on earth and carries self-analysis even further, becoming a very important and testing time for both males and females. Self-assessment is an important process as it helps us to face the challenge of change throughout life. Usually a period of significant turmoil, there is a complete re-assessment of initial lifestyle. This is the time men are likely to ask, 'Who am I? What have I accomplished?' 'So, I have a mansion, a boat on the Thames, and I am the big boss. Having yearned for it and earned it, does it really make me happy? Maybe I should look at some alternatives. What about a simple, more self-sufficient lifestyle in the country?' The questions will be endless.

In addition, conscious of their changing bodies and flagging libido through overwork and advancing years, men will also be concerned with 'How long do I have to live?' and 'Am I still the catch of the year?' But, despite their unsettling air, the late thirties signify a sort of halfway point in one's work career, a period of consolidation; a time to build a timetable for the future and for feeling a sense of mastery and competence. Often with considerable angst, we tend to rethink our provisional decisions at this staging post and either maintain them or change them to facilitate more permanent choices.

Women also experience a mid-life re-evaluation in their mid- to late thirties as they rethink their relationships, careers, children, themselves and their beliefs. They do ask the same questions as men, and are likely to be more preoccupied with their perceived notion of rapidly decreasing personal attraction, i.e. getting old and their looks changing for the worse, but they are less worried about the time they have left on earth. The biggest preoccupation for most women now is to have children before it is too late. This concern is often so pronounced (and indeed often perceived as 'desperate') that, when faced with the notion of such responsibility at the most introspective and insecure time of their life, men tend to beat a hasty retreat in response!

Abundant Opportunities

opportunities are abundant. Men seem to focus only on their careers, almost totally ignoring their family at times. Married women, on the other hand, seem to have a combination of interests - their family, work, the relationship and perhaps a crisis of self. It's the proverbial 'juggling' period and many women do not have enough hands or hours to juggle their different responsibilities. Resentment often creeps in at this busy time for families as children gradually become demanding teenagers. By the time the mother crosses her 40th birthday, her children could begin to flee the nest. In fact, the mid-thirties through to the late fifties are marked by two extremes - great productivity and equally great anxiety.

If the first stage relates to being an apprentice, acquiring new knowledge and status, and the second stage is to be confirmed, vindicated and validated, this third staging post can be described as the adventurous one. Adventurers focus on challenge and discovery. Many women with children begin their search for a job at this stage. Although the adventurer values the respect and recognition of others, he does not need it. He also prefers to avoid conflict in a bid to secure his position. The adventurer also values her own judgement above anyone else's and is thus free to take risks and to soar. But this will be done with much caution, with a focus on success and establishing both presence and influence. With most managerial posts in the workplace being held by adventurers who are keen to remain in their positions, many decisions made during this period tend to be reticent and over-cautious, which slows the level of progress in many establishments.

Regarded as the 'colleague stage', this period is also characterised by a rapid growth in professional knowledge, independence and autonomy. The experienced colleague seeks to build at least one area of expertise for which he or she is noted. Colleagues are likely to be accepted as members of the professional community, independently contributing their expertise to developmental committees and special assignments, solving problems and spearheading programmes. Some people never need to move beyond this level, thriving on independent work as consultants or otherwise. During this stage, energy and enthusiasm are likely to return, with this being a time to experiment and to try new ventures. Therefore, this staging post can be a satisfactory level for many professionals, as long as growth in expertise or responsibility continues satisfactorily.