(For your convenience, I have prepared this list of "Post Divorce Do's and Don'ts". Some may be applicable to your case and many will not be applicable. Please take a few minutes to read this.)

Do's

Keep accurate records of child support, alimony, or other property settlement payment(s). In the event that there is a dispute as to whether or not you have made payments, accurate records are important for proof of payment.

If you have a property settlement agreement in your case, any changes to the property settlement agreement must be in writing and signed by both parties.

In the event that you do not have a property settlement agreement and there is only a final judgment in your case, changes can only be made by application to the court for a modification of the final judgment based on a substantial change of circumstances.

If visitation of your children is in dispute, keep accurate records of your visitations documenting dates, times, activities and/or confrontations with your ex-spouse.

Do not pay child support directly to your ex-spouse if your ex-spouse is on welfare! You must make the payment to the State of Rhode Island. In the event that your ex-spouse is on welfare and you make payments directly to her/him, then these payments will be considered a gift and the State of Rhode Island will still pursue you for the child support payments, despite the fact that you have made the payments to your ex-spouse. This will mean that you will have to make a double payment of child support.

Do not modify the property settlement agreement by an oral agreement. ALL changes to a property settlement agreement must be in writing, signed by both parties.

Do not make cash payments of alimony or child support without a signed receipt from your ex-spouse.

If you make payments directly to your child or buy anything for your child, these payments will be considered gifts to your child and will not be a credit towards child support. Therefore, if you want these types of payments to be considered child support, they must be given directly to your spouse as child support.

If there is a restraining order in your case, do not contact your ex-spouse without the restraining order being dismissed. Even if your ex-spouse initiates the communication or invites you over, you could still be arrested for violating the restraining order. Any type of communication is a violation of the restraining order including e-mails, letters, faxes or voice mail messages. Do not rely on your ex-spouse's insistence that a restraining order has been dismissed. You need to verify with the Clerk of the Family Court that the restraining order has been dismissed. Important Information

If your circumstances change look into filing a motion to modify alimony immediatly. This only applies if there is no property settlemnt agreement that is incoporated into the final judgement which makes the alimony non modifiable. If there is no property settlemt in your case and you have not waived alimony permanently then you can apply for an increase of alimony if you can show a substantial change in circumstances such as a loss of income, loss of a job or a disability.

If you are ordered to pay alimony and the alimony is modifiable or if there is no property settlement which makes the alimony non modifiable then you can apply to decrease the alimony or teminate the alimony based on a substanstial change of circumstances such as a disability or loss of a job

A. Child Support

Child support does not automatically terminate when your child reaches eighteen (18) years of age. Child support will automatically accrue unless a Motion to Terminate Child Support is filed.

If you are the parent with physical placement of your child/children and your income significantly decreases or your ex-spouse's income significantly increases, then you should contact a lawyer to file a Motion to increase your child support payments.

If you are the parent without physical placement of your child and your income decreases significantly or your ex-spouse's income significantly increases, then you should contact a lawyer to file a Motion to lower your child support obligation. If you cannot pay your child support because of a change in circumstances you need to file a motion to modify child support immediately otherwise you can be subjected to a contempt proceeding for failure to pay child support.