Through my many years in the voice business, I have learned more from my clients than any book or theory on voice.  What has been extremely fascinating is what I have discovered as to why we sound the way we sound.  It didn't start out as study, rather it is the years I spent listening to my clients and asking them one specific question, "Do you sound like your mom or your dad?"  Just like fingerprints, voices are very individual:  no two are exactly alike but they can be very similar.

What I have found is that a woman will indeed sound similar to her mother if she had a good relationship with her mom during her childhood development.  Likewise, I can say the same thing for men.  If the boy has a good relationship with his dad, he will sound similar to his father when he grows up.  And, it is not surprising that siblings will often sound like same-sex siblings again given a good relationship.

The sound of your speaking voice is determined by two things:  the actual vocal apparatus which you inherit and your environment.  If you were raised in Brooklyn, NY, for example, there is an excellent chance that you will talk through your nose.  Your mother didn't teach you to do that.  Your father didn't teach you to do that.  But if the doctor, the lawyer, the teacher and mom all talk through the nose, then you will too.  And, it is done subconsciously. 

Answer this question.  If you were at you parents' home and you were to answer their phone, would the caller mistake you for your same-sex parent?  Assuming a good relationship, the answer is probably 'yes.'  Notice that I continually add the qualifier 'good relationship.'  Unless you were adopted (which I haven't studied), chances are that you will sound like your same-sex parent if you were raised in a loving and nurturing household. 

The loving and the nurturing are the fundamentals in this study.  [The relationship you had with your parents as a teenager (and even now) is not the issue.  The issue deals with the first ten to twelve years of your life.]  We imitate our parents throughout our early childhood development.  This is how we grow and learn.  If the relationship in those early years is not good, then the child will probably not sound like the same-sex parent:  the child will subconsciously avoid sounding like the parent who is abusive.

I have worked with men, for instance, who sounded like women.  Upon seeing themselves on video, they were surprised and stated, "That is my mother."  In all cases, these men had been abused by their fathers.  Because of the abuse, they had subconsciously copied the parent who had given unconditional love.  In each case, it had been the mother supplying the support and the love.  Upon viewing the recording, they recognized the similarity in the speech and voice patterns to that of their mother.

Upon meeting women who have experienced abuse, I often find that they sound like children.  Their voices may be very soft, whispery, and childlike.   One woman with whom I worked had a voice reminiscent of a 10-year-old.  When I questioned her as to whether she sounded like her mother, she responded that her mother was a very cruel, a very mean woman with a very deep voice.  Ellen subconsciously kept her childlike voice because she didn't want to sound like the ogre.

While you may have inherited your vocal apparatus, and while you may sound similar to one of your parents, you can dramatically improve the quality of your speaking voice.  It is simple; it is basic; it is fundamental.  By learning to breathe properly and speak within your optimum range, you can discover the unique individuality of your own voice.