Women over forty who are single and looking for a relationship can easily become discouraged. If you fit into this group, you may think all the good ones are gone. But the fact is, you have never been at a better time in your life to meet someone.

If you are in the demographic of women over forty and single, chances are you have had enough relationships in the past that have given you some experience and wisdom. You probably know what works for you in a relationship and what doesn't. But if you feel stuck and don't know how to meet someone, or you are not quite sure how to apply what you have learned, no matter what your age, here is where you begin:

*Make a list of what you do not want in a relationship

Women over forty often do not know exactly what they want. Many times when I ask a client what she wants in a relationship, she has no idea. But when we change the question to what she doesn't want, she gets very clear. List all of the characteristics and qualities that you cannot put up with in a relationship. Take a look at what caused your other relationships to break up.

*Now...make a list of what you do want in a relationship

From your first list, you will now have some idea of what your deal breakers are in relationships, and that will tell you what you must have in order for one to work for you. Keep your list to no more than ten items. If it is longer, condense some of the similar qualities into one major one.

*Visualize your ideal relationship and surround the picture with feeling

Several times a day, visualize how you want your life to look with your ideal partner. Surround that picture with feeling as you imagine being together. Cut out pictures from magazines that represent your relationship and post them in a place where you will see them often. Look at them frequently and imagine having just what you want.

*Make a list of action steps you can take to achieve your ideal relationship

This is the most important step of all. You can't have what you want unless you do something about it. What would bring you closer to finding your love? Do you need a counselor to help you build up your self esteem and handle some of your past baggage? Do you need to stop being a hermit and get out of the house more? Do you need a financial counselor to get your economic life straightened out? Do you need to look at what it would take to have a more fulfilling career? Do you need a dating coach? Remember that like attracts like, so if you want to meet a successful, emotionally stable, attractive guy, you want to become the same. Become the person you are looking for.

Women over forty have earned the wisdom, beauty, and maturity to find whom and what they want. If you are over forty, you have a courage that you never had before. Use all of your lessons learned and go and find what you want. You deserve it.