Finding Common Ground in Conversation-Debate-Negotiation and Uniting in a Common Cause


by Lance Winslow - Date: 2007-01-24 - Word Count: 402 Share This!

Many psychologists, political negotiators and business folks and most of academia will advise to find common ground in negotiation, discussion or debate. Often if you sit in committees for hours to put into minutes what one person could have probably done in minutes. Of course they will swear that all this BS is somehow necessary so that we can all feel good about ourselves and unite in a common cause and perhaps not be too pissed off at all the time we are wasting.

Because of all this social conditioning humans so often are running around looking for common ground. And they are told and even actually come to believe that finding agreement makes them FEEL SOOO GOOD? The truth of the matter is that finding Common Ground is over rated and one must consider the over use of that term and how manipulative wannabe psychologists use it to promote their viewpoints over another.

It is nothing more than sales, negotiation tactics or primate politics; of course they call this Master Skills of Negotiation and even go so far as to label it Leadership? More like horse ship to me. Of course it must be true because it is in all the books like; "How to Deal with Hard to Deal with People" or "The Best Book on Being Assertive" or "How to Win Friends and Influence the Rest".

A warning to you folks out there; always be wary of someone who rather than addresses the issues reverts to attempting to find common ground. Because they are using manipulative tactics on you and generally they are in their best interest and not yours. You let them know that you are looking for a Win-Win situation and find out point blank what they really want?

Personally, anyone can find common ground with someone like me, because I cover so much ground. So, you do not need to find common ground with me, just assume it. Some will deny the common ground ploy if pressed to answer the question; what do you really want and they will say something like; It makes me feel good to make others feel good?

Well really that goes without saying, as Human nature; social innate characteristics of the species and social conditioning from family to the whole of society predicts that. It is a given. Ask them to be upfront and stick to the subject. I hope you consider this thought in 2007.


Related Tags: negotiation, conversation, debate, finding common ground, uniting in a common cause

Lance Winslow, a retired entrepreneur, adventurer, modern day philosopher and perpetual tourist.

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