Stress management is often seen as a process of problem solving, taking control of pressured situations, and managing the stress triggers in your external environment.

While problem solving is one useful aspect of reducing stress, it is not enough.

I suggest my "inside-out" approach as a proven method for managing stress and creating more inner peace.

Focus on what you want, such as harmony and balance. Using the tips below, start creating that for yourself. You will naturally, automatically be less bothered with worry, anxiety, frustration and the mental and physical symptoms of stress.

Put these practices to work in your life for gentle and gradual transformation, from frazzled to overflowing with personal peace. These suggestions work if you work them.

1. Love Yourself

Before you can really love others you need to learn to love yourself. Self-loving helps to keep your cup full and overflowing so you can give of yourself without excessive stress.

I've been encouraging clients to practice greater self-loving for at least twenty years. Researchers are now beginning to say that self-compassion is more important than self-esteem for a happy and successful life.

Loving yourself creates a solid foundation for successful stress management in your life.

2. Forgive Yourself

This is a powerful inside out strategy for stress relief.

Self-forgiveness creates a a safe place for inner peace to grow.

Self-forgiveness also melts the resistance that perpetuates your stress struggles.

Whatever judgments you've held against yourself, forgive yourself and let the judgments go. Clue: watch for the "shoulds" that stress you out and forgive yourself for those.

3. Become a Neutral Loving Observer

For stress reduction in a moment of challenge, practice stepping back from the chaos so you can simply observe.

Get a higher perspective. Imagine observing your stress situation from a mountaintop where you can see the opportunities for learning, the hidden benefits and the solutions.

When you observe neutrally, you are in a position to see many options. You can make wiser choices based on the big picture, rather than on the limited picture defined by your stress.

4. Turn Within

To create a reservoir of inner peace, practice some form of meditation, spiritual exercises, contemplation or prayer every day.

You'll relax body and mind and come into alignment with your spirit and that greater Spirit according to your faith.

Research has well-documented the stress reduction and health enhancement benefits of meditation.

5. Reframe

When you face a stressful situation, as soon as possible, look for its hidden benefits and opportunities.

Is it an opportunity to learn and grow? A teaching moment with your kids? Is it a loss on one hand and freedom for new directions on the other?

Rather than saying, "This is terrible," talk to yourself about the positive potential in the situation. "I can use this challenge to learn and grow."

How you talk (think) to yourself profoundly affects how you feel. How you think and feel impacts your health and can aggravate or alleviate symptoms of stress.

Define the event as having some value and purpose, and you will feel empowered with less stress and more inner peace!

6. Develop Resilience

When you can accept what is going on, even though you don't like it, you have the freedom of resilience. You can bend but not break in difficult situations.

You develop resilience by loving and accepting yourself just as you are.

Your inner acceptance of you makes it easier to adapt and either master, circumvent or release stressful circumstances and challenges.

Who you are is not threatened by external challenges. Rather than wasting energy resisting circumstances you cannot change, you find it relatively easy to "go with the flow" in most situations.

This means less stress and more inner peace on a daily basis.

7. Watch Your Language

No, I don't mean four-letter words! I mean the downer words, the shoulds and shouldn'ts, the I can'ts and the "terrible too's" -- too fat, too dumb, too broke.

These are implied judgments that gnaw away at the wonderful you inside.

Change your language to "I can, I could, I want to, I don't want to, I will or I won't," and find positive or neutral ways to describe other people and yourself. "He's remarkably lean." "I want to learn more right now."

You will eliminate subtle triggers for stress and create space for inner harmony.