Relationship Tip: Whatever It Is Don't Call It Love
- Date: 2008-10-06 - Word Count: 455
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They say they love you. They tell you over and over again. They send you flowers and nice cards with warm funny notes written inside. When you go out with them, they wine and dine you like no one has done before. You tell yourself you could get used to this and truthfully who could blame you?
And then they start the cycle all over again. An innocent comment and they blow sky high. Or you greet them with open arms but here they are in one of their usual dark moods. They give you the silent treatment; at first. But that eventually comes to an end as their temper takes over. Here comes another eruption and they let you have it full blast.
You try to apologize even though you do not have a clue as to what you are apologizing for. It doesn't help as a matter of fact their anger and the intensity of it seems to grow stronger. Needless to say, it frightens you. Now comes the stomping around, the throwing of anything they can get their hands on. This reduces you to tears but they don't care. All they do is tell you to stop crying as they storm out of the room.
Now comes the aftermath. They tell you they are sorry but if you would only stop doing things to make them angry then they wouldn't fly off to handle. You accept their "apology" and vow not to do it again even though you still don't know what exactly you are vowing not to do. What you just did however was walk right into the trap. From now on every time they have one of these tantrums, you are the villain and they are the victim.
Now for a little while your relationship goes back to the sunshine and music face. They tell you they love you, how much and that they always will. Forget the cards the warm moments and pretty words. The bottom line is you are in a relationship with an abuser. The gifts not only serve as a way to ease their guilt but they also serve to lull you into distraction. It was "your fault" but as far as they are concerned no hard feelings. And when they go crazy next time, the gifts and pretty words will be right there to let you know they are not mad at you.
They may believe in their own strange way that they love you but in reality they do not. We all get upset from time to time but a when an obvious pattern emerges where you always come out on the short end then that is not love. It is abuse plain and simple.
And then they start the cycle all over again. An innocent comment and they blow sky high. Or you greet them with open arms but here they are in one of their usual dark moods. They give you the silent treatment; at first. But that eventually comes to an end as their temper takes over. Here comes another eruption and they let you have it full blast.
You try to apologize even though you do not have a clue as to what you are apologizing for. It doesn't help as a matter of fact their anger and the intensity of it seems to grow stronger. Needless to say, it frightens you. Now comes the stomping around, the throwing of anything they can get their hands on. This reduces you to tears but they don't care. All they do is tell you to stop crying as they storm out of the room.
Now comes the aftermath. They tell you they are sorry but if you would only stop doing things to make them angry then they wouldn't fly off to handle. You accept their "apology" and vow not to do it again even though you still don't know what exactly you are vowing not to do. What you just did however was walk right into the trap. From now on every time they have one of these tantrums, you are the villain and they are the victim.
Now for a little while your relationship goes back to the sunshine and music face. They tell you they love you, how much and that they always will. Forget the cards the warm moments and pretty words. The bottom line is you are in a relationship with an abuser. The gifts not only serve as a way to ease their guilt but they also serve to lull you into distraction. It was "your fault" but as far as they are concerned no hard feelings. And when they go crazy next time, the gifts and pretty words will be right there to let you know they are not mad at you.
They may believe in their own strange way that they love you but in reality they do not. We all get upset from time to time but a when an obvious pattern emerges where you always come out on the short end then that is not love. It is abuse plain and simple.
Related Tags: verbal abuse, dating relationship, relationship dating, relationship with a control freak, verbal emotional abuse, effects of verbal abuse
Article written by Daryl Campbell - The Relationship Tip - Check out the 3 warning signs of winthemarket.com/dating-tip-3-warning-signs-of-verbal-abuse/">verbal abuse Your Article Search Directory : Find in Articles
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