Put Your Controlling Ex Spouse In His Or Her Place
- Date: 2008-10-10 - Word Count: 439
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When you have to deal with a controlling spouse, it's difficult enough. Many people become so upset and stressed out from this that they seek a divorce. When you have to deal with your controlling ex spouse, things can become even worse. Divorce is supposed to free you from having to put up with this kind of thing but sometimes it doesn't. This article discusses the problem of putting your controlling ex spouse in his or her place.
Stand Your Ground
Your ex spouse will continue to be controlling as long as he or she thinks they can get away with it. For this reason, it's important that you don't take it. Don't allow them to tell you what to do, when to do it or how to do it. You are in control of yourself now and you are the only one who you should have to answer to. When you allow your ex spouse to control you, you only enable him or her to do it more. If they tell you to do something or not to do something, thank them for their advice and do as you please.
Get Away from Your Ex Spouse
Although it's not that easy to get away from your ex spouse if the two of you have children, you can limit the time you're around each other as much as possible. When you drop the children off or pick them up, meet in a neutral location. Arrive on time and not early so you don't have to be around your ex spouse for very long (this should also teach you some discipline). Also, if he or she calls - unless it's directly related to the children or something else important, there's no need to stay on the phone with them. Let them know that you're busy and hang up. You are not obligated to be around him or her so don't be. This will help stop them from being so controlling.
When All Else Fails…
If nothing else will work, you may need to seek help. You can get a restraining order by visiting your local criminal court clerk or police station. They will advise you on the best way to go about getting help. You may also want to consider therapy to deal with the remaining issues you may have from being in a controlling relationship. This will help you to move on with your life in a healthy, happy manner.
By following the tips and suggestions in this article, you can effectively deal with your controlling ex spouse. The divorce was difficult but now it's time for you to be your own person. Good luck.
Stand Your Ground
Your ex spouse will continue to be controlling as long as he or she thinks they can get away with it. For this reason, it's important that you don't take it. Don't allow them to tell you what to do, when to do it or how to do it. You are in control of yourself now and you are the only one who you should have to answer to. When you allow your ex spouse to control you, you only enable him or her to do it more. If they tell you to do something or not to do something, thank them for their advice and do as you please.
Get Away from Your Ex Spouse
Although it's not that easy to get away from your ex spouse if the two of you have children, you can limit the time you're around each other as much as possible. When you drop the children off or pick them up, meet in a neutral location. Arrive on time and not early so you don't have to be around your ex spouse for very long (this should also teach you some discipline). Also, if he or she calls - unless it's directly related to the children or something else important, there's no need to stay on the phone with them. Let them know that you're busy and hang up. You are not obligated to be around him or her so don't be. This will help stop them from being so controlling.
When All Else Fails…
If nothing else will work, you may need to seek help. You can get a restraining order by visiting your local criminal court clerk or police station. They will advise you on the best way to go about getting help. You may also want to consider therapy to deal with the remaining issues you may have from being in a controlling relationship. This will help you to move on with your life in a healthy, happy manner.
By following the tips and suggestions in this article, you can effectively deal with your controlling ex spouse. The divorce was difficult but now it's time for you to be your own person. Good luck.
Related Tags: marriage problems, divorce problems, spouse problems, self-esteem in marriage
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