Emotional infidelity may be a sign of something going wrong in a marriage, but you and your spouse can arm your marriage against it by expressing your feelings and becoming better communicators.

Quick Facts about Emotional Infidelity:
Emotional infidelity is sharing emotional intimacy with someone other than a spouse
Emotional infidelity often makes partners become more distant through deceit, suspicion, and the loss of trust
Emotional infidelity is an emotional affair
Emotional infidelity often starts when a spouse feels that they can no longer talk to the person they married, and seeks out someone else with whom to share their deepest thoughts and feelings. Talking about these feelings and thoughts doesn't come easy for lots of people. But it's vitally important for the health of a marriage for both partners to be able to communicate with each other in intimate ways.
Turn Emotional Infidelity into Emotional Intimacy
The main way to stop emotional infidelity is to build the emotional intimacy in your marriage. One of the most important things you can do is pay close attention to how you're feeling, and try to identify what's taking place within yourself. The more conscious you can be of the emotions inside you, the more proactive you can be regarding how you act on them, and the more effectively you can communicate them. These four tips can help you to start identifying the signs of emotional infidelity before it begins, so you can start building the emotional intimacy in your marriage.

Stop Emotional Infidelity Tip 1: Be aware of your feelings
Start by knowing how you feel, no matter how hard it is to express certain emotions. The feelings are there, within you, and they can be very powerful. Remember, feelings are neither right or wrong.
Stop Emotional Infidelity Tip 2: Identify your emotions
Next, do your best to actually name your emotions. There are five main types of emotions, each with its own range of intensity: Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger, and Confusion. Many people find it helpful to review a list of possible feeling words to help ascertain and describe what they are feeling at any given time. Here's a helpful list of feeling words to review, which can help you understand and identify your personal emotions.
The following words express varying degrees of JOY:

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Mild Moderate Strong
Satisfied Happy Overjoyed
Pleased Content Elated
Encouraged Good Delighted
Glad Upbeat Thrilled
Comfortable Hopeful Joyful
Positive Peaceful Excited
Relaxed Proud Ecstatic
OK Amused Optimistic
Relieved Cheerful Inspired

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The following words express varying degrees of SADNESS:

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Mild Moderate Strong
Unsure Afraid Alarmed
Worried Anxious Fearful
Nervous Insecure Frightened
Reluctant Apprehensive Terrified
Shy Timid Threatened
Hesitant Shocked Paranoid
Troubled Disconcerted Panic-stricken
Jumpy Uneasy Petrified
Concerned Startled Distressed

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The following words express varying degrees of ANGER:

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Mild Moderate Strong
Irritated Frustrated Furious
Annoyed Mad Enraged
Bothered Agitated Hate
Disturbed Aggravated Infuriated
Cross Disgusted Hostile
Edgy Exasperated Livid
Peeved Upset Incensed
Snippy Resentful Irate
Tired of Indignant Bitter

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The following words express varying degrees of CONFUSION:

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Mild Moderate Strong
Uncertain Confused Troubled
Undecided Perplexed Bewildered
Unsure Baffled Taken aback
Tentative Torn Mystified
Doubtful Puzzled At a complete loss
Vague Mixed up Disoriented

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More Feeling Words:

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Ashamed Bored Caring
Concerned Determined Disgusted
Eager Enthusiastic Exasperated
Exhausted Fatigued Fond
Impatient Indifferent Interested
Lost Pained Passionate
Pondering Secure Sheepish
Skeptical Surprised Suspicious
Sympathetic Tense Terrible
Thoughtful Trapped Uncomfortable
Uptight Warm Warm



Stop Emotional Infidelity Tip 3: Own your own feelings
Although we cannot control our circumstances, we can control how we react to them. Remember to own your feelings. No one can "make you angry" - they may do something that infuriates you, but you are in control of how you feel about that action. It's more accurate and effective to simply let someone know that you felt angry because of the action, statement, etc.
Stop Emotional Infidelity Tip 4: Express yourself
Finally, once you can identify what you're feeling, you'll be better equipped to express those feelings to someone else. It may be helpful to let your spouse know what you're doing. Explaining that you are doing this so that your marriage can be even better will likely encourage your spouse to get involved. It's very important that you both remember to keep your discussions in a "safe zone," refraining from becoming judgmental over the feelings that are being expressed.
By staying true to your feelings and revealing them to each other in heartfelt discussions, you and your spouse will have a deep level of trust. You and your spouse will be able to confide in one another, rather than with someone who could lead you to emotional infidelity.

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